Why I Look Up To Kobe Bryant (and Other Thoughts on Kobe)

Why I Look Up To Kobe Bryant

Ever since I started loving basketball and watching the NBA, I was a Laker fan.  And the length of time I was a Laker fan, I was a Kobe Bryant fan.   More than that, he is one of my role models.   Yes, I have a lot of “favorite” people.  Lots of people I admire.  If I’m going to make a list, it’s going to be long (even if we minus the fictional characters).  I admire them for their talents or intelligence or achievements or characteristics.   But if I have to make a list of people – the people themselves and not only their successes or skills – I really look up to and want to emulate, the list would be shorter.  Kobe Bryant is in this list. 

Kobe Bryant is an amazing basketball player.   He is probably the most explosive and versatile offensive player in history.  He possesses wide arsenal of moves, footwork, and ways to score.   And being an all-around player, he is also an elite defender, and brilliant passer and rebounder.  More than that, he possesses genius level I.Q. which he utilizes in understanding the game of basketball very well.  But if these are the only indications, he would only belong to the first category (people I admire because of possessing admirable talents, intelligence, or characteristics) and not the second (people I look up to and want to emulate).     

So what made him become part of the second category?  It would be his admirable attitude and incredible mental focus.  These two are actually the reasons – the sources – that allowed Kobe to have such amazing basketball skills.

Kobe is known to have a good work ethic.  He is a hard worker.  He possesses such skills because he developed them through regular and rigorous practice.  He is usually the first guy to arrive at the gym and the last to leave.  Practice, practice, practice.  Training, training, training.  He continually works to improve his game, or add something to his already wide collection of weapons.  One illustration of this was during the 2009 offseason, fresh from winning his fourth ring, he called up Hakeem Olajuwon to improve his post-and-pivot game.   “I’m chasing perfection,” he once said.

In contrast, I am usually a lazy person.  The compliments “versatile” and “smart” have been used on me by several people.  However, oftentimes, I do not work hard to improve these initial gifts of mine.  I am a “just enough effort” kind of guy, as long as it gets the job done.  How I long to have Kobe’s attitude of “chasing for perfection” through hard work. 

This season, he was quoted: 

“I’ve always been comfortable as a kid growing up to think that when my career is over, I want them to think of me as an overachiever despite the talent that I have.  To think of me as a person that’s overachieved, that would mean a lot to me.  That means I put a lot of work in and squeezed every ounce of juice out of this orange that I could.  Hopefully, they perceive me as person who did whatever he had to do to win above all else.  Above anything.  Above stats. If they say that about me I’ll be happy.”  

Epic.  I really want to have this same mentality.  I want to be an overachiever with the talents I have.  God help me.

Kobe's Greatest Weapon: Mental Toughness

His mental focus is the best I have ever seen in the NBA.  He can detach himself from everything, and put his full concentration on a goal.  Best example:

This mental focus also translates to mental badassery.  He is also never intimidated.  Best example:

A mental focus that even allows him to play through pain.

I haven’t seen someone with such focus, motivation, obsession, and mentality as Kobe Bryant in sports today.     I mean he is probably the Sherlock Holmes of the NBA as far as a dehumanized mental machine is concerned… no, wait, not Sherlock Holmes – since Kobe has a near sociopathic/psychopathic drive to execute to get a goal – but the Batman of the NBA (which I already mentioned in my article after the Lakers won the 2010 title).

It can’t be denied that Kobe is awesome – if you’re being mentioned in the same sentence as Batman, then you’re definitely awesome.

Haters Gonna Hate

But still some do try to deny his greatness.  I found that Kobe just inspires as much irrational hate as President Bush, and because of this hate, they refuse to acknowledge his greatness.

Some criticize Kobe for selfishness, for having an itchy trigger finger, for jacking up a lot of shots.  But this “selfishness” is more due to his obsession with getting the win (and avoiding a loss) rather than stacking up his personal numbers.   If given a choice between team success – i.e. NBA championship – and personal glory, Kobe would pick the former in a heartbeat.  Of course, he would definitely prefer getting both, but getting the championship is paramount if he had to pick one and sacrifice the other.  Again, Kobe has a Batman mentality.  A cold-blooded gambling gunslinger.  So, he is not afraid to gamble in shooting a lot.  To risk getting crucified by critics for shooting too much, especially if they lose because of it.  But, these shooting gambles of his can also win games.  And Kobe already earned the reputation (and legend) that his coach and team are willing to give him the power to win or lose the game for them with his “cold-blooded gambling gunslinger” mentality.  Again, this is more because of his strong desire to win rather than selfish desires to get personal glory.  He really just wants to contribute to making his team win (or by dragging them to win), no matter what his role is, and he just sincerely believes that he can do this by shooting a lot.  To quote Kobe: “I'll do whatever it takes to win games, whether it's sitting on a bench waving a towel, handing a cup of water to a teammate, or hitting the game-winning shot.”

We also do hear “Kobe is not Jordan” a lot.  I agree.  Kobe is not Jordan.  But I always believe that if Kobe and Jordan had switched places in generation in the NBA, Kobe would have been considered the best instead of Jordan.  That’s how Michael Jordan-esque I believe Kobe to be.  In fact, in some aspects, Kobe is better.  Kobe is more skillful than Mike (ask Phil Jackson), though MJ is more athletic and more physically gifted (i.e. bigger hands and better leaping ability).  But that’s the point on why Kobe is better than MJ in a sense.  Even if Kobe was not really that initially gifted (in terms of raw and physical gifts), he developed and obtained the amazing skills he had now – to the point that he is being compared to the player that many considered as the best basketball player ever (Michael Jordan) – through pushing himself through Batman-ish hard training.  (Just imagine how much Kobe could be better if we put him in LeBron’s body!  He would dominate basketball to the point of overkill!)

There are other Kobe attacks, but the most annoying is the “Kobe is a rapist” hating.  When a hater finally sinks to this level, that hater is just so intoxicated of hating that he can’t be convinced by a reasonable argument in Kobe’s defense.  I mean what does “Kobe is a rapist” got to do with basketball?  Besides, we all know that Kobe was vindicated already in this matter.

Greatest Of All Time?

Even if we, say, insist that “MJ > Kobe”, well, that can’t be used to deny Kobe being a great player.  If we consider Jordan as the best anyway, then MJ is greater than every other player, and not only Kobe.  Why would we then use the detail of Jordan being better to discount Kobe’s greatness?  As one writer illustrated, it’s like seeing a 7’6 guy and then saying, “He isn’t the tallest man that ever lived.”  So?  He might not be the tallest man that ever lived, but he sure is damn tall!

Will Kobe take the greatest player title away from Jordan?  It’s possible, but very unlikely.  As far as being on the basketball court is concerned, in my humble biased “Kobe Bryant-fan” opinion, Kobe and Jordan are equals.   But MJ greatly separates himself from Kobe with his tons of personal achievements.  And observers would look at MJ’s collection of MVPs and scoring titles and defensive-player-of-the-year award and then look at Kobe’s and they would conclude that MJ is the better player.  It can’t be helped.

Still, Kobe is the closest thing to Michael Jordan we would ever see.  The facts that he is being compared to MJ and MJ fans and/or Kobe-haters are being threatened by that comparison prove the point.

Kobe will never catch up with MJ as far as individual awards are concerned.  But I think getting more championships than MJ is more important anyway.  I will be satisfied if Kobe retires with 9 to 10 championships.

It would be lovely, though, if Kobe will have another MVP season or two. 

I love seeing this during the regular season…

…which will culminate to this:

Sweet.

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Hedonist's Desire

In my life…

I want to get a lot of things…

I want to experience a lot of things…

I want to enjoy a lot of things…

But even if I get them, I know I will desire upgrades of these wants

Still going to lack satisfaction

All things will pass…

Any pleasure in this world is temporary

Thus, I long for the day I would finally see You face to face

My heart bursting with complete ecstasy of joy and love forever and ever

Until that day, throughout my life, like St. Augustine, I say…

My heart is restless until I find my rest in Thee

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"Valentines? Bah, Humbug!"

I was a Valentines Scrooge for years.  As far as a season for celebrating love (that possesses pagan origins in its traditions and a commercialized frame) is concerned, I pick Christmas over Valentines.  Indeed, since it celebrates the birth of the Greatest Lover in History, Christmas is, then, the true season for celebrating love.  What do we need Valentines for?  It pales in comparison with Christmas as a season of love and as a celebration overall.  Valentines actually does not celebrate the noble essence of love per se, but it actually centralizes on romance.  Yup, just romance.  Love can be romantic, but romance does not always translate to love at all.  Romance is an illusion.  It does make us feel good, but, usually, it’s not because of love.  It’s because of the high that romance gives us.  Therefore, I was never into Valentines because it overrates romance (how redundant is this statement?) and does not really deal much with love.  You want to celebrate love in its true spirit?  Do it on Christmas, or better yet, throughout the year.

I still stand on of what I have said above.  But, this year, I get to, at least, appreciate the Valentines spirit.  

No, I was not bitter before.  I was just not into Valentines.  In fact, same as the previous years, I also had no Valentines date this year.  But this year… well, I was in a state of “being in love” when February 14 hit.     

In love?  Really?  Let’s do a checklist… Am I exhilarated with her company?  Check.  Do I easily miss her even if I have just seen her earlier in the day?  Check.  Do her gaze and smile bedazzled me?  Check.  Does she make my heart beat in a way that it nearly requires for a crash cart?  Check.  Yes, it’s definitely textbook definition of “falling in love”.  That or it’s borderline sociopathic obsession.  Then again, those two are the same anyway, right? 

Seriously speaking though, as far as emotions go, I am definitely in love.  This is something nobody expected.  I never planned for this.  It was a bombshell for me, for her, and for everybody around us.  We have known each other for some time, but I never noticed that she is such an awesome individual.  Just recently, all of a sudden, I saw how wonderful, stunning, and lovely she really is.      

       

Is it “true love”?   Hmmm, I don’t know yet.  Do I believe in “true love”?  If “true love” means the “One” that has been prepared or destined by God to be one’s partner for life, then I do.  But to really determine if what I have now is “true love” is hard.  As far as feelings are concerned, I believe that the way you feel for “true love” is just the same as any romantic feeling there is since the emotions brought by being in love are all dependent on chemicals, like PEA, that are released by the body to bring such feelings.  So in a physiological sense, all types of “falling in love” – whether it’s true love, teenage love, puppy love, or mere infatuation – give the same kinds of emotions, maybe in different degrees or intensity, but the same kinds of emotions nonetheless.  The body will not release a previously dormant special chemical or trigger a special mental function to give you a “special feeling” when “true love” comes.   No, emotions for “falling in love” are uniform in all kinds.  Therefore, relying merely on emotions is not a true determinant for “true love”, there is no such “special feeling” for “true love”.   

How can “true love” be truly verified then if emotions are unreliable?  Well, since it is God who destines it, then it is God who reveals it in his perfect time.  I am still not sure how that will come about, but I am sure that’s how it works.   So until that God-set perfect time arrives that will make one truly absolutely sure, then it is best to wait… and wait… and wait… and more waiting.  And lots of fervent praying comes to play as well.  And those people who rash into things (i.e. relationships) regret it in the end.       

So, I may not yet know if it’s “true love” – if she is the “One” that God has prepared for me.  However, there is nothing wrong in honestly stating what I feel right now since it’s a reality.  I am in love (again, basing on emotions).  Very much in love. But my love is limited as a human love can be at this point.  A love that, sometimes, still wishes to be returned.  A love that I can’t enforce yet.  A love that still gets hurt.  A love that can’t assure the future (since I can’t see the future); taking into consideration the fact that romantic feelings do change in time. 

But, nonetheless, state it as it is… fact: I am in love.  I love her.  And she loves me.  Fortunately, she agrees with my own ideals and sentiments (which I had already stated above).  That’s why we decided to don’t hurry.  We wait (and wait and wait).  And pray (and pray and pray).  To have no commitments to each other and to not close doors.  To have no expectations.  To put our full hope in God and not on each other.  To continue to seek God’s will in our lives.  And, until then, we build and enjoy our friendship.   And I really appreciate and am really thankful for this friendship… and for her.       

And, oh, for the record, indeed, I haven’t had any Valentines date this year… but I did enjoy a post-Valentines date.

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Top 10 Anime Series

Anime has made a big impact to our pop culture.  It charmed the generation I belong in and it continues to charm the generation after mine.  I assume that all of you know what anime is and I don’t need to define it or give some background. So, let’s go down to business.  My top ten:

10.) DRAGONBALL Z

A top ten anime list will never be complete without the immortal Dragonball Z (let’s just pretend that Dragonball and Dragonball GT do not exist, okay?).  I liked DBZ, but not to the extent that I really became a die-hard fan.  Yes, the series entertained me much, but, seriously, it’s kind of ridiculous.  Characters are too powerful.  The plot is so annoyingly slow-paced sometimes – heck, an entire episode can go on with just the two combatants staring at each other.  There are times that the story would be predictable (i.e. Goku will be resurrected again by the Dragonballs after being killed for the nth time). 

But it does have its moments of epicness and badassery (in fact, a lot of it).  Moreover, it’s probably the most popular anime in the world, so it at least gets my number 10 spot.

9.) CINDERELLA MONOGATARI

Ah.  I really love this when I was a kid.  The greatest reinvention of the Cinderella fairy tale.  This is what I wrote some time ago about Leonard (the prince) and Cinderella:

With no "love at first sight at the Ball" nonsense, they started as friends and had their bond strengthened by several adventures together, which ultimately blossomed romantically in that Ball.

Each episode was refreshing to watch because of this.  

8.) VANDREAD

I love the premise of “Vandread.”  In the far future, space has been colonized by humanity.  But during this time, in a specific system, the battle of the sexes become literal as males and females are alienated and at cold war with each other.    A crew of female pirates attacks and takes over a male battleship, and takes three male prisoners.  Then the living core of the ship fuses the male ship with the pirate crew’s own ship to form a hipper but mysterious ship which is later named “Nirvana”.  Nirvana suddenly warped far away in distant space.  Aside from the ship, the Vanguard (a male-designed humanoid robot) that was in the male ship and three Dreads (female-designed fighter spaceplanes) of the pirates are also changed as well that enable them to combine into a Vandread mecha (thus, the title).   In their journey to go back home, the males and females in “Nirvana” learn to co-exist.  The experience planted the hope of men and women possibly living together again.  And, oh, they also have to fight human-harvesting AI machines along their way back (and to warn their people – men and women – about the incoming danger)…  

7.) ONE PIECE

I was hesitant to include animes that are still ongoing since I won’t be able to evaluate it in its entirety.

I had considered adding “Naruto” and “Bleach”, but though I love these two for years already, I still think it’s too early to add them to this list.  Especially with “Bleach”.  I really considered it because it contains mindblowing twists and has some of the best action you can find in anime.  But it also has annoyingly long irrelevant arcs that are not related to the main story, which put it out of discussion.  

One Piece, however, deserves to be in this top 10.  Among the “Big 3” – hottest manga/animes today – composed of “Naruto”, “Bleach”, and “One Piece”, “One Piece” is the best.  Characters and storylines are interestingly conceptualized, and filled with humor and action and adventure that will never tire the fans.  Obviously, its ranking will definitely rise in a future list.  

6.) DORAEMON

A robot cat from the future that aids an elementary boy in his daily struggles (e.g. school, girls, bullies,etc.) by loaning him farfetched gadgets?  A sure winning formula for comedic scenarios.  And this show effectively delivered just that.  

5.) SLAM DUNK

This anime was one of the reasons I started to get interested in basketball.  The Shohoku High team is the centerpiece of this anime, detailing its journey from a non-playoff "one-man" team to one of the elite teams of their district.  I really love how the action and excitement of the basketball court was translated by this series.  It’s just a bummer that the national tournament never made it to the anime.

4.) YU YU HAKUSHU

This is the anime that got me interested in anime as we know of today.  Yu-yu Hakushu – or “Ghost Fighter” as it is known in these parts – was my favorite anime back then.  It has excellent characters, action, and storylines – a formula that future anime series would emulate.  Others had perfected that formula since then, but Yu Yu Hakushu is the first of its brand of anime.

3,) GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI

Gensomaden Saiyuki is a hip reinvention of a Chinese classic novel called “Journey to the West” (published around the 1590s).  This anime featured the greatest foursome in fiction (Yup, I consider Sanzo’s Party better than even the legendary foursome, the Fantastic Four).   And they are a big part why this show was awesome.  Each episode is a guaranteed performance of badassery and coolness by the four of them.  They’re always on a roll and unstoppable.  Aside from the charisma of the main characters, the show’s success is also attributable to its animation techniques that greatly enhance the already superb storytelling and music scores (especially “For Real”) that effectively stir the emotions of the viewers.  

  

2.) SAMURAI X (RURUONI KENSHIN)

Samurai X features one of the best anime fight choreographies ever.  It tells of a former infamous samurai, Kenshin Himura, who made a commitment to not kill again after being known as “Battōsai the Slasher” during the war.  He became a peaceful wanderer, and eventually settled down in the Kamiya Dojo (where his adventures during the show’s run start).  To be able to enforce his vow of non-killing, Himura make use of a unique “reverse-edged sword”.  This had become a disadvantage for Kenshin in his fights, but he continues to beat the odds without breaking his vow.  This theme has been constant in all the show’s storylines.

1.) CODE GEASS

Greatest anime ever.  Hands down in a landslide, “Code Geass” gets the top spot.    Deep and interesting characters, exceptional concept and themes, plenty of mind-blowing twists, and a superbly constructed story… in fact, this anime is one of the best pieces of fiction I have ever encountered. 

I don’t want to reveal too much since it’s really really worth seeing for yourself.  But, here’s the story in a nutshell… The story revolves around a high school student named Lelouch, who is secretly the notorious rebel leader “Zero” who desires to take down the Brittanian Empire and free Japan from its clutches.  Zero is granted a geass that can mind control people by a mysterious immortal named CC.  With his geass and CC by his side, Zero also has the Black Knights – freedom fighters – under him to help him in his goals.  Lelouch has his own selfish reasons on fighting the Brittanian Empire.  But in the end, his goals would realign and he would bring out the best of his talents in strategy and manipulation to create the universally coveted world peace.  Watch the show on how that came about.  It’s worth it. 

Honorable Mention (i.e. other animes considered for the top 10): Cowboy Bebop, Hunter X Hunter, Nadia: Secret of Blue Water, Dual, Gundam Wing, Detective Conan, Lupin III, Eyeshield 21, Full Metal Alchemist, Robotech (The Super Dimension Fortress Macross)

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Maintaining Equilibrium

If IQ tests are to be trusted (I have my doubts), I at least have an IQ of 127.  But I am more proud of my EQ, which is 116 (again, if that online EQ test I took is legit).  I am a balanced guy.  LOL.  Anyway, I really think that it is more important for someone to have a strong emotional equilibrium to survive in life than raw intelligence.     

The past days had been an emotional roller coaster ride for me and people around me.  So, I have to remind myself of the principles I live by that helped me maintain my equilibrium.  That’s why I decided to write this.  (And also so that you can pick up some pointers or encouragement). 

Taking deep breathes

I always find taking short deep breathes helpful when dealing with heavy emotional situations.  It does steady your nerves to help you think for the better.

Think logically and practically

There is a danger in becoming more attached to emotion than logic.  Emotion clouds sound judgment.  Thus, in critical evaluation, emotions should be ignored.  Especially in bad situations, since bad situations bring bad emotions.  And in these bad situations that we need our decision-making to be in its most effective.  Therefore, we should be able to train ourselves to discard the emotions that the situation can bring.  Logic and practicality should reign supreme to get us through that bad situation.

If we see the situation through a practical eye, we would easily see that feeling that particular emotion would not help us at all.  Thus, that emotion is illogical.  Example, a friend asked me once, “Are you miserable?”  I replied, “I don't know... But my feelings are irrelevant. Emotions per se can't change reality. Thus, to feel miserable is illogical.”

Indeed, what you feel won’t change the situation you’re in.  When you hit rock bottom, how can the feeling of self-pity or depression help you get up?  You might say that what I’m talking about is difficult or impossible because emotions are outcomes of situations.  Indeed they are, but I refuse to let them stay like that.  Again, emotions can’t change the reality you’re in.  What emotions can do, though, is to fuel you to a goal… or hold you back from a goal.   Therefore, if a particular emotion will hinder you instead of driving you to a goal, then it is definitely necessary to remove it.   Again, if you hit rock bottom, how will self-pity and depression help you get up?  Isn’t optimism a better assisting emotion to help your climb back to the top than self-pity?  “Since you’re now in the bottom, then the only way left is up.”  Thus, FORCING yourself to be happy and optimistic will help you recover than sulking in depression.  Laugh to pull yourself together.      

It’s hard to do, I admit.  But, really, the logic of this argument works, right?  Thus we should practice putting logic above emotion even in small things, so that it would be easier to do this method in bigger and more stressful scenarios.  

“Divide your life”… Retreat to other activities and interests…

There is a problem with revolving our whole life around something.  People tend to make school, or a relationship, or a career as the center of their lives, that when this fails or crashes, their lives crash with it.  Because they made THAT as their whole life.

There is a merit if, at the start, you had “divided” your life – or you had realized that your life is actually “divided” – into different aspects.  Then if you fail in one aspect of your life, you would take comfort that you are doing well in the other aspects.  Or if one aspect disappoints you, you can retreat to pour your energy to the other aspects to get rid of the frustration.  By this, at least, you release your frustration by doing something worthwhile or productive in your life.

That’s why it is necessary for someone to have a wide area of interests and plenty of activities to keep him or her active.  Activity is good therapy.   

“Don’t take life too seriously, we’ll all end up dead anyway…”

I encountered that quote from a college professor (one of the best teachers I ever encountered in my schooling life).  Indeed, it doesn’t matter how we lived this life, or what we obtained in this life, we will all end up as bacteria food in the end.   Bottomline: life is short and everything is just temporary.  Therefore, we should get the best out of our lives.  To live life to the fullest.  To be worthwhile and productive.   To seize the moment.  Thus, it’s a waste of life when you feel bad about living. 

See things as they are… be at peace with the facts that can’t be changed…

Again, think logically.  See things as they are.  As the definition (by Wikipedia) of reality goes: “[it] is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or may be thought to be.”   And reality is something you can’t directly change.  There’s no use being bothered with things that you can’t have some sort of control or influence over. 

And also, don’t raise your hopes on what can become.  Rather, just objectively see the situation as it is in the present.  Sounds like the cynical mentality of Thomas Covenant (don’t know him? read the books by Stephen Donaldson) to you?  Well, it does have some sense in it.  The lesser the expectations, the lesser the disappointments.   

Just be at peace with reality.  Be at peace with facts that you can’t change.

And the first (and most important) fact you should be at peace with is…

The Universe does not revolve around you.

In life, you will not get all of what you want.  Things will not always go your way.  Creation is not here to please you.  Murphy’s Law (if something can go wrong, it will) will always apply.  And, yes, life is indeed not fair.       

The sooner you become at peace with this fact, the sooner you’ll feel better and be less prone to disappointment.   As soon as you accept the fact that the universe does not revolve around you, then you will be ready to accept that…

The Universe revolves around God!

Everything is created through Him and for Him.  That everything that happens within Creation is by His sovereign will and for his glory.  And since the Universe revolves around God, then we should definitely put Him in the center of our lives.  It is only right to do so. 

Consider:

a.) God’s wisdom is perfect.

b.) Whatever God wills is always for good, even if it doesn’t look good through our own eyes (which are limited by time and un-omniscience.  God, however, transcends time and is all-knowing).

c.) Nothing happens by accident because God is always in control and nothing frustrates God’s plan.

d.) Everything He does for His children is for their ultimate good.
If we do believe in all these facts, we can see that God will not disappoint or frustrate those who put their trust, hope, joy, and love in Him (Those, however, who put their full trust, hope, joy, and love on things of this World will surely be disappointed and frustrated, since the World and everything in it are temporary and imperfect).   Then, if so, isn’t this enough to strengthen us emotionally and mentally?    Isn’t this enough to go “Hakuna Matata” with our lives?                

To be able to have a good equilibrium, there must be a strong foundation that would help us avoid getting emotionally off-balanced.  And that foundation is in God and in God alone. 

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A (Very Late) Recap of 2010

I know this should have been posted last week at the latest.  I didn’t have the time (i.e. got lazy) to finish it last week.   Anyway, after reviewing my 2006 and 2007recaps (and wondering why I didn't make recaps for 2008 and 2009 – were they boring years?), got interested on writing one for 2010.  

Enumerating the highlights:

a.) Good news: The traffic of “The Bernel Zone” picked up this year.  One major reason, probably, was the “Top 10” articles which I started in 2010 (note: blog statistics was only activated in June).

Bad news: Adsense cancelled my account when it was on a good pace on nearing $100 – the amount to earn before a check would be sent.  Just like that, it was cancelled because of “illegal clicking activity”.

b.) My celfone of three years got broken in February.  And Ma gave me a China phone as replacement.  As usual, my celfone usage was minimal.  Text sent is probably around 3,000 and text received is around 7,000 (estimation based on texting stats of previous years, when I still had my former phone that can record text stats). 

c.) During this year, I was able to experience bowling again.  Thanks to the new bowling alley in Embarcadero.

d.) In February, I finally finished my On-the-Job-Training (in BIR) – my last course in college.   And after wrapping up some other school requirements and then grabbing my last academic medal (as a dean’s lister), I was finally set-up to graduate.

e.) In April was graduation day.  And, by the grace of God, I graduated cum laude.  I love the cum laude medal most among the medals I got from college.    This was the best thing that happened to me in 2010.

f.) This year, in a reunion among my high school friends, I got drunk for the first time.   Hahaha.  No, I’m not really proud of it.  But it’s definitely a highlight.  I got drunk, not because I was “pressured” to get drunk, but because it was an “experiment.”  Really.   Just to understand the feel of it and why many like to drink booze.  And if there’s going to be a point in my life where I can allow myself to get drunk, that was the most preferable circumstance.  I’m of legal age…  I’m out of college… and, most importantly, the booze is free (I’ll never pay up just to get drunk at all).  How did it go?  I wrote about it a few days after the experience:

Ok. Just this once. For experience’s sake. I downed glass after glass.

Throughout my drinking spree, I kept track of how drunk I was by asking those with me to ask me simple trivia questions for me to answer. When I answered, “Uh… Bzz… Aldrin…” to the “first man to go to space” question instead of “Yuri Gagarin”, I know I was screwed for missing such easy question. 

I was mentally calculating everything.  Forcing my mind to focus.  There was like three of me that night.  First, the one with dreamy outbursts, saying things without actually thinking. Second, the still logical thinking machine which was trying to force the first to calm himself; observing and taking notes of the first’s responses and reacting by “So, this is how getting drunk feels… The dreamy state… The quick tongue” or “Why did I said that? I never thought of saying that” or “The volume of my voice is starting to get loud. Better soften it” or “I still have a part of me which is rational. I will hang on to it, so that I will not do anything stupid” – you get the picture.   My nature of making logical connections, my desire to remain rational and in control, and the oral recitation (if I was not drunk, I will not recite what is going on in my mind, of course, but it keep it there) of these mental notes that I took every step of the way amused and impressed observers. The third personality, which in a way scared me, was a cold third-person observer.  That was very much like a Twilight Zone movie.  At that time, it seems not at all weird.  But it was weird when I thought about it the next day.  Subconsciously, there seemed to be a third me taking independent notes from the second, with an amused (scary) smile on his face while just observing.  In a way, the third was like the second, but I can feel that the second was a part of me (which is actually, how a “waking” non-drunk me semi-normally acts).  This third feels like someone distinct from me.  I am not sure if I imagined or hallucinated an actual doppelganger watching the scene in a third-person view.  But what I know is it felt that this independent personality existed in my mind. (Probably the manifestation of the Devil’s Agent of Drunkenness? Hahaha.)

With this “three-personality” observation, I mentioned it feels like “border-line psychosis”… and that’s one reason I will not get drunk again.  I value my mental-emotional-personality control too much.  Crazy things do happen when getting drunk. 

Wow (just read this again for the first time after writing it more than half-a-year ago).  Aside from this, there’s another thing.  My main defense mechanism is a sort of Repression.  But instead of burying memories into the subconscious, it buries emotions.  I don’t allow emotion to be an uncontrollable variable or as an outcome of a circumstance.  I want emotion to be something controllable or a mere “tool”.  As an epigram of mine goes, “Feelings are irrelevant, they can’t change reality.”  Emotions should fuel you to a result and not be the result.  Thus, if an emotion can’t help you at all, it is illogical to hold on it. That is my philosophy.  However, the Repression defense mechanism’s repressed memories can re-emerge in a future time.  The problem with this is other memories might “re-emerge” that actually did not happen.  Thus, repressed memories are defective.  Real forgotten memories are mixed with the subconscious’ fabricated memories.  Often, you can’t set them apart.  It’s the same with repressed emotions.  I learned that getting drunk can trigger their resurfacing.  But you can never tell the difference between real feelings and illusionary feelings.  Of course, I will not tell you the details of this part of the experience.  Anyway, to continue the documentation, here was my conclusion:

The results of that night’s “experiment”? Nausea and vomiting interrupting my sleep, experiencing the “dreamy” (almost psychedelic?) high that regular alcohol-drinkers love, a lesson learned (there should be a lesson, of course, from the experience, like “Don’t get friggin’ drunk next time! Are you crazy? You nearly lost it!”), appreciating more the logical mental-emotional control God-given talent (“feelings are irrelevant. It can’t change reality.”), and an allergic reaction brought by rashes the next day - which is either brought by too much alcohol or the hellish summer heat, but the former is more probable (now, I can use it as excuse to avoid being drunk the next time. “I’m allergic to alcohol!” Nice.)

As much as I can help it, I don't want to get drunk again.

g.) Both North Korea and Iran (and to some extent *cough* *cough* *cough* China  *cough* *cough* *cough*) continue to be douchebags this year.  Especially North Korea.

h.) It was an election year this year.  And it was my first time to vote.  And I got my first encounter with this:

Anyway, I really did my homework before I choose who to vote for president.  I didn’t want to vote without thinking at all and just go with the popular.  Though my candidate did not win, I support P-Noy and wish him well in leading the country.  God put him to be in charge and I should submit to authority (because, ultimately, all authority comes from God and all leaders are put in position by God).

i.) In May, my band was invited to play in the Ice Music Festival held in Embarcadero.  On August 29 (I can still remember the date because it was my father’s birthday), our church held a concert at Albay Park.  And on December 10, we were invited to play in the second One Heart concert.  These three gigs were all blessed opportunities to perform for the Maestro, which I love doing.       

j.) Lakers won back-to-back!  Oh, what joy I got from that when it happened!  Beating the Celtics in an epic and grueling Game 7 to earn the championship.  I love that game (my favorite game of the year).  Of course, I expect them to win again this year.  Though they are still not at their best form (so far) this season (just good enough to be number 2 in the West), I am expecting that when the playoffs comes, they will be on the roll.  This year, we also had LeBron James’ “The Decision” where he became the NBA’s lead villain overnight.   LeBron joined D-Wade and Bosh to form a so-called “Three Kings” (now, the “Heatles”) superteam in Miami.  But I am not worried about the Heat (even though they had beaten the Lakers in their Christmas meeting).  I am more concerned of the Celtics.  But I have faith in my team, that they can beat whoever faces them in June.  Go Lakers! Threepeat!  

k.) It was my “debut” this year.  Hahaha.  

Anyway, turning 21 means I am no longer a “borderline” adult/teen.  20 years old is still “twenteen.”  Now, I am definitely 100% young adult.  I’m still wondering if I can handle it (I miss the teenage license of being reckless and carefree. Hahaha).  21 already and I am still not sure what to do for the rest of my life.  But I do pray for God’s direction.  Starting when I turned 21, I continually pray (up till now): that whatever God wills for my life, he would put that desire in my heart, so that God’s will and my desire would be in sync.

l.) Spain won the World Cup… breaking the pattern of winners in history:

m.) I’m a fan of Neil Gaiman since I was in high school.  But it was only this year that I got to buy some of his books.

n.) I also went job hunting this year (after graduating).  My first ever job interview was for Rapu-Rapu Minerals, Inc.  A friend of mine (working there) told me about a job vacancy (administrative assistant) there.  So, I applied.  On the day of my interview, I went to the site via motor boat.  It was a three-hour ride.  Pretty tiring.  I did not get the job.  Let’s just say, the company couldn't give me what I wanted, and I couldn't give them what they wanted.  Nonetheless, I had a great time there.  It was just like an overnight vacation.  My friend toured me around the mining site.  I got free and delicious lunch and dinner.  And my room accommodation was great.   The rooms for visitors and regular employees were all filled to capacity already (at least four persons occupy one room), so I was housed in, probably, the quarters for executives or special visitors.  I had nobody sharing the room with me.  It had a personal CR, a table, a piece of art (!), a lavatory, and a TV with cable.  And it was roomy.  It was fun staying at that quarters.  Again, it was like a vacation.  I had to wake up the next day at 3 am because the motor boat to take me back to Legazpi goes at 4 am.  Great experience.  Some pics...

  

o.) My Hawk Gear backpack, which I had since when I was in Grade 3, finally got broken.  It was too old already that the cloth was already weak and tore easily.  From elementary to college, I had used it.  And now it's finally time to say goodbye.  Thanks for all those years, faithful backpack.

p.) I miss this cat...

She was energetic and naughty.  She would do funny things like annoy my other cat (which is already old and serious) or enthusiastically "swim" on our home's tiled floor.  She also would usually wake me up every morning (jumping on my bed).  Then one day this year, she disappeared.  My theory is that a biology or nursing major student kidnapped her to be dissected in a school project.  She's a gentle and trusting creature that she probably didn't realize the danger when, one day, a stranger in white took her.  I hope her ghost will haunt that student's conscience.

  

q.) ESPN tied-up with Marvel Comics to make these awesome comicbook-themed art of NBA teams.

Pretty cool, eh?

r.) In a single week, the Philippines was hit by a “meyjer, meyjer” 1-2 punch.

s.) Pac-Man continued to dominate and give the country pride.  (While Mayweather continued to make excuses.)

t.) Had fun hanging out with church friends throughout the year.

u.) My favorite place for food this year was "Binalot".

I like the concept of "binalot" (wrapped) Filipino food in banana leaves and paper.  And the amount of rice is always enough.  I never order extra rice when eating here.  Had eaten several times there, with family or with friends.   

v.) Went to Lucena again after three years.   

w.) This year, I was able to experience, for the first time, watching a movie in 3-d.

x.) December was full of fun activities in our church.  We went caroling in which instead of asking for presents or Christmas favors, we did the giving instead.  Our church had its 23rd anniversary (and I get to dance again… after a year.  The last time I did was during the 22nd anniversary).  We had a fun Christmas party.  And before the year ended, we went swimming in San Mateo Hot Spring Resort (in Sorsogon). 

  

y.) I got three wallets for Christmas gifts – and I haven’t used the wallets I received last year yet!

z.) I spent my New Year’s Eve at the annual reunion of the Jimenez clan.

So those were my highlights of 2010 (I hope I haven’t forgotten anything).  Expecting for great things this 2011. 

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