Top 10 Fictional Cats

Those who know me are familiar of my fondness of cats.  They are cute, cuddly, adorable, lazy, indifferent, self-absorbed, cowardly, quick-tempered, gullible, agile, tenacious, sharp, and sly – and I find the sum of all these qualities very winning. 

I lament the fact that there are more interesting and notable dog characters than cat characters.  Nonetheless, there are still a couple of stand-outs among fictional cats.  Here are my picks for the best from the lot.  

Honorable Mentions: Cat-Bus (My Neighbor Totoro), Bill the Cat (Bloom County), Meowth (Pokemon)

10.) HEATHCLIFF

I read Garfield and any affection I have to the strip is out of my affection for newspaper comic strips in general.  I find Heathcliff as the better fictional ginger cat over Garfield.  Heathcliff doesn’t talk (though in the animated series, he does, and wisecracks, which is great also) but he still possesses an extent of anthropomorphic characteristics (e.g. fighting with his fists; understanding human culture, concepts, and language; maintaining a girlfriend; standing on his hind legs; serving as an informant for dog catchers, etc.) that allowed more absurdity in the gags of his comic strips.  His episodic adventures are usually about outsmarting his adversaries; bullying dogs and other cats; stealing from and annoying the tuna fisherman, the fish market owner, and the milkman; making lady cats swoon; and just being a plain nuisance to almost everyone. 

9.) LYING CAT

This is the most recent one that I’ve encountered in this list since it’s only this year that I’ve come to read and be a fan of the exceptionally terrific Saga comic book series.

Lying Cat is the pet cat of The Will, a bounty hunter that was sent after the main protagonists (an eloping inter-species couple that belong to opposite sides of the war).  What is remarkable and interesting about this cat is how it shouts out “Lying!” whenever someone speaks a lie within its earshot.       

8.) FELIX THE CAT

I know that Felix the Cat is more known as an animated character; ever since his creation during the silent film era, Felix has appeared in a couple of animated shorts, animated series, and animated movies.  But my fondness for the character happened because of the funny “Felix the Cat” comics digest from Harvey Comics Entertainment; I immensely enjoyed reading “Felix the Cat” comics during my early childhood.  The simple but stylish cartoon design of the character is also worth noting.

7.) PUSS IN BOOTS (Shrek)

The Shrek franchise has succeeded in reinventing some fairy tale characters to hilarious effect.  One of those characters is Puss in Boots, wherein he was depicted as a swashbuckling cat with a Mexican accent (with Antonio Banderas’ distinctive voicing enhancing this character’s charm).  Debuting in Shrek 2, Puss was first introduced as an assassin tasked to kill Shrek, but he quickly became his ally instead.  Donkey was initially threatened from being replaced by Puss as Shrek’s sidekick, but the three of them eventually became close friends.

Puss is a capable swordsman, but he isn’t unaware of the adorable qualities that a cat possesses by default – he even uses his adorableness (e.g. winning people with his trademark cute, large “puppy eyes”) to his advantage in a fight or to get his way. 

     

6.) CHESTER

Chester is a character from the excellent Bunnicula series of children books.  He is the only cat among the four pets of the Monroe household, and was the only one convinced that Bunnicula is a vampire and a threat.  His name is taken from G.K. Chesterton (he was a birthday gift for Mr. Monroe, a literature professor), and grew to love reading books.  Because of reading many books, Chester is smarter or at least more knowledgeable than the pet dogs.  However, his intelligence is also probably the reason why he’s obnoxious, extremely imaginative, stubbornly narrow-minded, and incapable of admitting wrong (typical flaws of most smart people).  Nonetheless, his flaws and obsession on Bunnicula make him a very appealing and enjoyable character.        

5.) TOP CAT

The titular character of the immensely entertaining Top Cat animated series is a charismatic, street-smart, and ingenious alley cat.  Top Cat – or T.C. for short to his friends – usually spend his days leading his gang of alley cats in earning a quick buck through outlandish schemes or cons.  As expected, T.C. often finds himself in a bind from the outcome of his enterprises.  However, he is also often able to talk himself out of trouble with the help of his smooth-talking and quick-wittedness.  Though not as competent as the Fonz, T.C.’s personality is very much Fonzie-like, i.e. he easily wins over both co-characters and audience alike.   

4.) SWAT KATS

Let me cheat a bit.  The sixth spot belongs to both Chance "T-Bone" Furlong and Jake "Razor" Clawson – the SWAT Kats – since they equally provide to what makes the SWAT Kats awesome.  This duo is former paramilitary law enforcers that were exiled to the city’s military salvage yard.  Despite being removed from service, the two still desired to fight crime and protect the city, hence, they decided to become vigilantes – the super-hero duo, SWAT Kats.  They modified the salvage yard to serve as their base of operations, and using parts they can find in it, they created a state-of-the-art fighter jet, the “Turbokat”, as well as gadgetries, weapons, and other vehicles to use in their crusade.   

3.) DORAEMON

The delightful Doraemon anime series features the daily struggles (e.g. being bullied, getting poor grades, etc.) of fifth-grader Nobita, in which the titular character Doraemon would provide aid for.  Doraemon is a robot cat sent from the future to improve the fortune of the hapless Nobita.  He does this by providing Nobita with strange but effective gadgetries that are intended to help address his present predicaments.  However, half of the time, especially when Nobita becomes abusive, greedy, and too self-seeking of the advantage provided, the whole thing backfires on him.  Still, throughout the way, the loyal Doraemon consistently provides counsel and caution.          

2.) SALEM SABERHAGEN

Technically, Salem is – was – a human warlock.  However, he was turned into a cat as punishment for his attempts to take over the world.  As a cat, Salem is a delightful companion to Sabrina Spellman, especially in Sabrina the Teenage Witch and in Sabrina: the Animated Series wherein he was portrayed as a wisecracking, loud-mouthed black cat – extremely funny and charismatic.  

I don’t care much for early versions of Salem in the comics since he’s originally orange and doesn’t talk.  Thankfully, due to the sitcom’s popularity, the comics opted to retcon Salem so that the comic book portrayal would closely reflect the much improved, more hilarious version of the character set by the sitcom. 

 

1.) PUSS IN BOOTS

Shrek’s reinvention was great and fun, but the original fairy tale depiction is still the best.   The “Puss in Boots” story charmed me greatly from the first time I read it.  And the story’s titular cat who ensured the fortune of his master through clever manipulations and quick-thinking made an empathic impression on me that he has been my most favorite fictional cat ever since.

As ending, I’ll leave you with the narrative of the fairy tale to enjoy the awesomeness of the original Puss in Boots.  Here goes...

*  *  *        

Once upon a time there was a miller, who was so poor that at his death he had nothing to leave to his three children but his mill, his ass, and his cat. The eldest son took the mill, and the second the ass, so there was nothing left for poor Jack but to take Puss.

Jack could not help thinking that he had been treated shabbily. "My brothers will be able to earn an honest livelihood," he sighed, "but as for me, though Puss may feed himself by catching mice, I shall certainly die of hunger."  The cat, who had overheard his young master, jumped upon his shoulder, and, rubbing himself gently against his cheek, began to speak. "Dear master," said he, "do not grieve. I am not as useless as you think-me, and will undertake to make your fortune for you, if only you will buy me a pair of boots, and give me that old bag."

Now, Jack had very little money to spare, but, knowing Puss to be a faithful old friend, he made up his mind to trust him, and so spent all he possessed upon a smart pair of boots made of buff-colored leather. They fitted perfectly, so Puss put them on, took the old bag which his master gave him, and trotted off to a neighboring warren in which he knew there was a great number of rabbits.  Having put some bran and fresh parsley into the bag, he laid it upon the ground, hid himself, and waited. Presently two foolish little rabbits, sniffing the food, ran straight into the bag,' when the clever cat drew the strings and caught them.

Then, slinging the bag over his shoulder, he hastened off to the palace, where he asked to speak to the King. Having been shown into the royal presence, he bowed and said:

"Sire, my Lord the Marquis of Carabas has commanded me to present these rabbits to your Majesty, with his respects."

The monarch having desired his thanks to be given to the Marquis (who, as you will guess, was really our poor Jack), then ordered his head cook to dress the rabbits for dinner, and he and his daughter partook of them with great enjoyment.  Day by day Puss brought home stores of good food, so that he and his master lived in plenty, and besides that, he did not fail to keep the King and his courtiers well supplied with game.

Sometimes he would lay a brace of partridges at the royal feet, sometimes a fine large hare, but whatever it was, it always came with the same message: "From my Lord the Marquis of Carabas"; so that everyone at Court was talking of this strange nobleman, whom no one had ever seen, but who sent such generous presents to his Majesty.

At length Puss decided that it was time for his master to be introduced at Court.  So one day he persuaded him to go and bathe in a river near, having heard that the King would soon pass that way. Jack stood shivering up to his neck in water, wondering what was to happen next, when suddenly the King's carriage appeared in sight. At once Puss began to call out as loudly as he could:

"Help, help! My Lord the Marquis of Carabas is drowning!"

The King put his head out of the carriage window and, recognizing the cat, ordered his attendants to go to the assistance of the Marquis. While Jack was being taken out of the water, Puss ran to the King and told him that some robbers had run off with his master's clothes whilst he was bathing, the truth of the matter being that the cunning cat had hidden them under a stone.

On hearing this story the King instantly dispatched one of his grooms to fetch a handsome suit of purple and gold from the royal wardrobe, and arrayed in this, Jack, who was a fine, handsome fellow, looked so well that no one for a moment supposed but that he was some noble foreign lord.

The King and his daughter were so pleased with his appearance that they invited him into their carriage. At first Jack hesitated, for he felt a little shy about sitting next to a Princess, but she smiled at him so sweetly, and was so kind and gentle, that he soon forgot his fears and fell in love with her there and then.  As soon as Puss had seen his master seated in the royal carriage, he whispered directions to the coachman, and then ran on ahead as fast as he could trot, until he came to a field of corn, where the reapers were busy.

"Reapers," said he fiercely, "the King will shortly pass this way. If he should ask you to whom this field belongs, remember that you say, 'To the Marquis of Carabas.' If you dare to disobey me, I will have you all chopped up as fine as mincemeat." The reapers were so afraid the cat would keep his word that they promised to obey. Puss then ran on and told all the other laborers whom he met to give the same answer, threatening them with terrible punishments if they disobeyed.  Now, the King was in a very good humor, for the day was fine, and he found the Marquis a very pleasant companion, so he told the coachman to drive slowly, in order that he might admire the beautiful country. "What a fine field of wheat!" he said presently. "To whom does it belong?" Then the men answered as they had been told: "To our Lord the Marquis of Carabas." Next they met a herd of cattle, and again to the King's question, "To whom do they belong?" they were told, "To the Marquis of Carabas." And it was the same with everything they passed.

The Marquis listened with the greatest astonishment, and thought what a very wonderful cat his dear Puss was; and the King was delighted to find that his new friend was as wealthy as he was charming.

Meanwhile Puss, who was well in advance of the Royal party, had arrived at a stately castle, which belonged to a cruel Ogre, the richest ever known, for all the lands the King had admired so much belonged to him. Puss knocked at the door and asked to see the Ogre, who received him quite civilly, for he had never seen a cat in boots before, and the sight amused him.

So he and Puss were soon chatting away together.

The Ogre, who was very conceited, began to boast of what clever tricks he could play, and Puss sat and listened, with a smile on his face.  "I once heard, great Ogre," he said at last, "that you possessed the power of changing yourself into any kind of animal you chose--a lion or an elephant, for instance."

"Well, so I can," replied the Ogre.

"Dear me! How much I should like to see you do it now," said Puss sweetly.

The Ogre was only too pleased to find a chance of showing how very clever he was, so he promised to transform himself into any animal Puss might mention.

"Oh! I will leave the choice to you," said the cat politely. Immediately there appeared where the Ogre had been seated, an enormous lion, roaring, and lashing with its tail, and looking as though it meant to gobble the cat up in a trice.  Puss was really very much frightened, and, jumping out of the window, managed to scramble on to the roof, though he could scarcely hold on to the tiles on account of his high-heeled boots.

There he sat, refusing to come down, until the Ogre changed himself into his natural form, and laughingly called to him that he would not hurt him.  Then Puss ventured back into the room, and began to compliment the Ogre on his cleverness.

"Of course, it was all very wonderful," he said, "but it would be more wonderful still if you, who are so great and fierce, could transform yourself into some timid little creature, such as a mouse. That, I suppose, would be quite impossible?"

"Not at all," said the vain Ogre; "one is quite as easy to me as the other, as I will show you." And in a moment a little brown mouse was frisking about all over the floor, whilst the Ogre had vanished.

"Now or never," said Puss, and with a spring he seized the mouse and gobbled it up as fast as he could.

At the same moment all the gentlemen and ladies whom the wicked Ogre had held in his castle under a spell, became disenchanted. They were so grateful to their deliverer that they would have done anything to please him, and readily agreed to enter into the service of the Marquis of Carabas when Puss asked them to do so.

So now the cat had a splendid castle, which he knew to be full of heaped-up treasures, at his command, and ordering a magnificent feast to be prepared, he took up his station at the castle gates to welcome his master and the royal party.  As soon as the castle appeared in sight, the King enquired whose it was, "For," said he, "I have never seen a finer."

Then Puss, bowing low, threw open the castle gates, and cried:

"May it please your Majesty to alight and enter the home of the most noble the Marquis of Carabas."

Full of surprise, the King turned to the Marquis. "Is this splendid castle indeed yours?" he asked. "Not even our own palace is more beautiful, and doubtless it is as splendid within as without."

Puss then helped his Majesty to alight, and conducted him into the castle, where a group of noble gentlemen and fair ladies were waiting to receive them. Jack, or the Marquis as he was now called, gave his hand to the young Princess, and led her to the banquet.

Long and merrily they feasted, and when at length the guests rose to depart, the King embraced the Marquis, and called him his dear son; and the Princess blushed so charmingly and looked so shy and sweet, that Jack ventured to lay his heart and fortune at her feet.

And so the miller's son married the King's daughter, and there were great rejoicings throughout the land.

On the evening of the wedding-day a great ball was given, to which princes and noblemen from far and near were invited. Puss opened the ball, wearing for the occasion a pair of boots made of the finest leather, with gold tassels and scarlet heels. I only wish you could have seen him.

When the old King died, the Princess and her husband reigned in his stead, and their most honored and faithful friend at Court was Puss himself, for his master never forgot to whom he owed all his good fortune: He lived upon the daintiest meat and most delicious cream, and was petted and made much of all the days of his life, and never again ran after mice and rats, except for exercise and amusement.

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SPIDERS

Here is a scenario:
Someone, a female very often, sees a spider. It will take about a second or two for it to register to her that it was a spider. And another second of hesitation to confirm that it was a spider. Then the scream, “Eeeeeeeeee!” It’s so high pitched that it can break glass. “A spider! A hideous spider!” She will then either kill it herself with her shoe, or call someone, a male very often, to kill it for her.

When scenarios like this happen, my sympathy is on the spider. You see, I like spiders; they’re my fave kind of insects (technicaly, they are not really insects). Arachnids. I don’t know where this fondness of mine on spiders started. It might be because Spider-Man is my favorite comicbook character since I was a toddler that I grew fond of spiders, too (and I wondered if being bitten by an irradiated spider really gives you superpowers). Or because like other Filipino boys, I find it fun watching two spiders fight hanging on a stick. Or maybe because I find their webs, and when they make their webs, cool. Or is it because of a children story called “Charlotte’s Web”? I don’t know.

I am not afraid of spiders since I was a baby. Even of the big ones with venoms. And I never kill spiders, nor ever will, just as I won’t kill a cat. They are such interesting and complex creatures… one of God’s bests.

I heard a story of someone who does not know of God in atheist China, I think, what without the help of a preacher nor a Bible began to believe in god when he saw a spider. He cannot comprehend something as complex as a spider making its web exists even if there is no God. So, he concluded that there is God. Spiders, God’s little missionaries.

Fascinating are these God’ creatures that live all over the world, on mountains, in forests, in caves, desserts, and even underwater. Spiders don’t only eat insects, but some kinds also eat small fish and tadpoles. Another interesting thing about spiders I that male spiders are much smaller than females, so the females sometimes mistake males for other insects and gobble them up!

One of the things I like about spiders is they kill mosquitoes. Just as much as I liked spiders is my hate for mosquitoes. That’s why I don’t get rid of webs often, the more webs there are, the better the chance of a mosquito getting captured by a spider and get killed (of course, I have to remove the webs when they are already too thick for the light of the fluorescent bulb to get through). Oh, another cool thing, I saw a spider biting the head off a cockroach, and then sucking its blood… radical.

There is one characteristic in spiders that people should copy. Perseverance. Break their webs and they will only repair them or make another one. They never give up. Just like the spider in the song “itsy bitsy spider”. It continued on its way up the water spout after it was washed down by the rain. We, humans, should also learn to persevere and continue in our way up our “water spouts” even if the “rain” washes us out.
I think the guy who wrote that song likes spiders, too.

So, please, don’t kill a spider when you see one. There are 10,000 different kinds of spiders in the world, and all of them are not worth killing. The little guy is only minding his own business, do likewise. Only kill a spider when it is as huge as the ones in the movie “Eight-Legged Freaks”, you’re a fool if you don’t kill it if you have the chance.

All’s left is finding out if a bite from an irradiated spider really gives you powers like Spider-Man.

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Fantastic Felines

Since my childhood black cat, Blackie, and his pride of felines, cats had inhabited our front yard ever since. Years passes, and generations of cats that came from that first batch had come and gone. Must of them just disappear - either they got tired of the food we feed them or they became road kill - so the average cat population in the cat pride during each batch is about four or five (but there used to be a time when a batch has ten, more or less).

I don’t know what generation my current cats are, and there used to be four often, and I called them the ‘Fantastic Four’. ‘Mr. Fantastic’ is the smartest cat among them. I called another the ‘Thing’ because he’s the ugliest (maybe because he’s the oldest). The youngest cat is the ‘Human Torch’ for being a hotshot. And the only female in the group is ‘Invisible Woman’ (being the only female).

Mr. Fantastic, being the smartest, left the group one day, since he knew he will have an irrelevant life if he stays in our yard. He envisioned himself doing better than eating table scraps (probably to make a starship like his namesake). I don’t know if he is gone for good (dead? Or captured by Dr. Doom?). In the past, he was also absent for a very long period, but eventually he returned. But he has yet to return from this current absence of his (rumor is he’s alive in an alternate universe).

The Thing is the ugliest and oldest. He is even older than my own sister. What he does each day is sleep, run from the neighborhood cat bully, annoy my mother, and only says, “It’s clobberin’ time!” when it is time to eat.

Hotshot Human Torch is all talk (or meow). Before fights, he mews threateningly like he will tear his enemy into pieces, but sooner the fight commences, he goes “Flame on!” and flee.

Invisible Woman disappears quickly when approached. No different. Nuff’ said.

Well, these are my cats – the Fantastic Four cats. Like most household cats, mine are conceited, selfish dumb, and lazy. But I like cats anyway than the “loyal, smart, heroic, energetic, noble” dogs (sheeesh). Cats remind me - in some ways - of humans.

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CATS

My pets are cats. Cats, for me, are better than dogs. Cats are more fuzzy and cuter. When I was a small boy, I had a small black kitten. I had fun with that kitten. We played and played throughout the day. Unfortunately, we have to leave that cat to our neighbor when we have to move to a new house. After a year in our new house, my mother brought home a black kitten. He was so cute and funny that we became friends very fast. My father also likes him and we let him sleep inside the house. That cat was an offspring of Martina, a Siamese cat that is owned by the Oloyas. That cat was disciplined and it does not litter inside the house and steal our food. It was also brave and strong, and is not a pushover by other cats. My father named him, Blackie. When he grew up, we found another cat that we considered his wife. We adopted her. That cat bore three kittens. I named the mother Shiela and I named the kittens Henry, Toto and Tina. When Toto was a grown up, he died. That left four cats, Blackie, Shiela, Henry and Tina. Blackie protects his family very well. He protects his territory and family from stray cats, and even dogs! That was my first batch of cats. Many followed. Many cats came from that first batch. There are also many stories as well. I use to call my cats a pride. I considered them like lions. There were a lot of them and I cannot remember the names I gave them. Some of them died when young and some died later. Others got lost or we gave away. Shiela died the most tragic, she was bitten by our neighbor's big dog and died. I tried to stop the dog by shooting it with my pellet gun. I failed, and I cried hard when she died. While the patriarch, Blackie, died when he was very old. The most interesting story about my cats was when Tina found a stray kitten left by his mother. Tina adopted the kitten and considered it as her own. She recently gave birth to three kittens and adopted another one, so she had four of them. The pride took him as one of their own. Sadly, as the kitten grew, it disappeared. The first cats are all dead now, as well as the second. All left here are the third or fourth generation. The pride has currently four members. At one time, the pride was composed of up to ten or twelve members. This generation is a contrast of their ancestor. They are a bunch of "scaredy cats" compared to the brave and proud first batch. They also litter outside our house and my mother is very irritated when she have to clean the front yard. The first batch litter far from our house. This generation also steals our food, unlike the first batch that are often behaved. However, I still like those cats. I think I inherited my love for cats from my father. He loves cats. He took care of some cats when he was young. My father is currently the one who often feeds our cats. Compared when I was a boy, I did not play much with these cats. I missed Blackie. He was my best cat ever. I promised that when I grow up, I would find a black cat and make it my pet. Who knows, maybe I will start a new "pride".

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