At Last, I Finally Got My College Yearbook.

The promised date of its release was February 2010, two months before our batch’s graduation.  This was to ensure that we would be able to enjoy this souvenir immediately after leaving college.    However, the yearbook’s release was more than a year late of its promised date.   Just got it as I write this.

Was it worth the wait? 

No.

No.  Because from the start, I preferred a college ring instead of a yearbook.  But the majority of my batch preferred a yearbook or was just apathetic with what type of souvenir the batch would have.  So a yearbook it is.

To be fair, the quality of the yearbook was great.  And it has a Facebook motif.  Therefore, there are Facebook-style “shoutout/status message” – quips or quotes by the individual – and “comment box” – some details or description of the individual written by a friend/classmate – included in a graduate’s profile.  Now, that’s creative.

Then again, if I want to look at a Facebook-themed profile – complete with photos, info, and status message – of a particular batchmate, wouldn’t it be better if I just – I don’t know – look at his or her Facebook profile!  I mean, after the advent of Internet social networking, having a yearbook as something to remind you of who you went to school with and read something about them, if not already made out of fashion, at least, is bland already.  So it’s actually ironic that the concept (Facebook) that the theme of the yearbook was based from is the one that makes it dull in comparison.     

Ok, you might consider it as a memento instead.  Something you can have tangibly on hand to make you sentimentally reminisce your school days.  Ok, that argument or purpose seems sound.  However, consider this… what is the predominantly content of a yearbook?  Right, profiles of batchmates.  So, those “sentimentally reminiscing” can only be done if those profiles are of people you actually know or shared experiences with, which would enable you to actually reminisce. 

But I don’t even know half of those people in my yearbook.  In the case of my high school yearbook – in which my only complaint was the part where the phrase “Hakuna Matata” (which is my motto) was criticized – I liked it because, even if I was not friends with all of them, I, at least, know all of them, since there were only a few of us (124 to be exact) in our batch.  In college however, there are plenty in the batch.  As I’ve mentioned, I don’t know half of them.  Heck, I wasn’t even familiar with the faces of most of them.  Therefore, I don’t care to read about most of the people in the yearbook.  But their “boxes” and “status messages” are there, dominating the pages.  In a Facebook analogy, it’s like having hundreds of connections/friends but you only know a minority of them, thus your home wall is flooded with posts and newsfeed of people you don’t know or care for.    

By the way, here’s my “profile page” in the yearbook:

I admit, it kind of looks nice.  Just one complaint.  In the “comment box” part, the written description for me got screwed up.  It should have gone like this:

As Bernel puts it:
"I'm a cowboy longing
for my ride to the sunset.
A six-shooter in my hand.
Staring down the bullet,
making my final stand."

Instead of just in one-paragraph form, it should have appeared as a 6-syllable-a-line, 6-line poem which was a bite-sized summary of a profile poem of mine.

(Sigh)

Still at least, I finally got the yearbook.  Overrated and late, but, at least, I got what was paid for when some batches don’t even get the yearbooks that they paid for.  

But I still prefer a college ring.

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The Stories Behind My College Medals

Hanging on a hook of my ancient cabinet are the medals I got in my life.  Actually, they are all medals I got in my college life, and any medals I got in my early elementary years are all lost (since I don’t value them at all).  I am not at all very active at school in my elementary and high school years.  I didn’t join school-accredited clubs, competitions, or extra-curricular activities.  Heck, I was never an honor student since I was Grade 3.  Maybe I am just too passive and lazy and bored to earn myself some achievements in my academic career.  I have the mentality that such are irrelevant to actual living and they are not worth bothering about.  It was never my cup of tea.  But, surprisingly, when I entered college, I found myself earning medals.  Hmmm.  As if the rule of Bernel “numbness” and laziness on school activities disappeared in college.

               

I am not that smart.  I am not really that active in school.  There are only 6 medals.  But compared to what I got in elementary and high school, which is zero, these are actually noteworthy.

               

So here is the story behind each of them, in chronological order.

Master of Strings – Champion (Freshman)

               

I am not actually thinking of joining any competition in our college intramurals as a freshman (with the course BS Accountancy).  As I’ve said, I don’t want to be bothered with any school activities.  I find them no fun.  Plus, the intramurals would serve as vacation time from school.  However, Juris, a senior of mine in high school, who is aware of my guitar talents, asked me to join him to play in the intrams’ musical competition.  Well, I really don’t want to join.  But I guess something in me was curious on what would it feel to experience it, that I agreed.

               

We would compete in the “acoustic rendition” and the “master of strings” competition – a competition for guitar instrumentals.  But our band of four only fully concentrated on the acoustic rendition competition, and had only a decent practice for the master of strings hours before the competition. 

               

That night, when it was our time for the acoustic rendition competition, I got my first taste of Murphy’s Law in a competition.  I found that the pick-up cable for my acoustic guitar was too short.  Bummer.  I had to settle with a microphone to amplify my acoustic guitar, but actually the mic was inutile since it can never really capture the sound of the acoustic, thus my guitar was impossible to hear.  We only ended up second in that competition, and I’ll give credit to our brilliant vocalist for getting us to at least second (more about her later). 

Now, though I am not very active in school competitions, I did develop a competitive nature.  This is because of playing computer games (I even won an award in a “Pangya” competition, though it was only my first time to play that game.  And never played that game again after the competition.  I just wanted the prize money) and being exposed to an internet café environment (very competitive).  I already knew we would not win in the acoustic rendition before the winner was announced.  I hate losing.  And I don’t like to come out empty handed that night.  Thus, I made a decision that when we play in the master of strings, I would stay near the sound system controls, which was down the stage and away the eyes of the audience, so that my short pick-up cable would reach the sound system and my guitar playing, which was our ace, would be heard.  Juris was the only one who stayed on the stage (his acoustic has no pick-up, but he made use of the four microphones available).   With that settled, we played some parts of “Hotel California” and Alamid’s “Your Love” – with me let loose for about 8 minutes of guitar solo.   We won.  Probably, the mystique of being an “invisible instrumentalist” (remember, most of the audience can’t see me since I was not on stage but beside the sound system controls) helped.  The management department actually had, I admit, the best guitarist of the college, but I got to beat him… at least that night.

I am always proud to be a guitar slinger.  But that competition made me a “master of strings”… at least, for that year.

Acoustic Rendition – Champion (Sophomore)

The loss the previous year in acoustic rendition left a bitter taste in my mouth.  I had already won a “master of strings”, and for that year, I wanted to concentrate on the acoustic rendition.  This time, I was the “captain.”   Thus, I had free reign of choosing the song and the appropriate musicians. 

                 

I built a band that has lead guitar (Eugene), rhythm guitar (Janine), violin (Rich), percussions (yours truly) and, most importantly (voice quality has a major percentage in the criteria), lead vocals (Gra).  I wanted the performance to be “un-mainstream” and “show band-style” – to be close to a “professional-sound” as much as possible.  Thus, not only I instructed the instrumentalists to be polished, I also designed them to serve as backup vocals.  Yes, I was a “musical director”, but I did not make any much “directing.”  Yes, I gave the initial instructions, but I allowed them to figure it out for themselves.  It was a true team effort.  And, boy, these guys practiced well individually to get their part that when we finally put the individual parts together, it was so good.  Gra, as before, was the ace.  Her voice is one of the best I ever heard, so ideal to be the front of a band.  She ranks at my top three vocalists I had performed with (her bestfriend Kaye is also there.  I performed with them when I was in high school, in the Morph all-star band’s gig at the Pacifif Mall.  I could still remember the date:  December 17, 2005.  Pity, I do not have a video.  It was one of the best performances I was part of).  Our piece was The Corrs’ “Only When I Sleep”.  I am not exaggerating if I say that Gra sang it on par with Andrea Corr.

Of course we won.  No way would we lose with such brilliant teamwork of musicians. It was perfect from start to finish.  With the violin as the “X-factor” and Gra’s voice beautifully silences the crowd.  I loved that performance.  It is a pity I did not record it.

I was also part of the master of strings competition that year.    Just like the last year, our only real practice was hours before the competition.  But this time, we did not win.  That guitarist of the management department finally did something so awesome I actually considered conceding before it was our turn to perform. He probably wanted to get back at me for my “upset” win against him the previous year.

  

Academic Scholarship (Junior)

Failing my first course (BS Accountancy), I shifted to the new course of the college: Bachelor of Science in Business Administration major in Financial Management.  And in that year, my third in college and my first in my new course, I got my first  academic honor since my third grade.  The taste of an Academic Scholarship was so sweet, not only because I got some refund of the tuition, but because I never thought I would ever have an academic honor in college.  The feeling was nice.  I never ever expected to experience having a medal hanged around my neck in a recognition day. 

The story of this medal is simple:  this medal gave me a “glimpse” of an “impossible” dream, that though I desire it, it seems still distant to think of yet.

General Information Quiz Bowl – Champion (Senior)

               

I was an officer of the newly-accredited Junior Institute of Business Administration in my last year in college (see, I’m more “active” in school than I was in high school.  Really strange) and I was tasked as top head for the intramurals that year.  So, I was tasked to head the organization of participants, and uniforms, and other matters regarding the JIBA’s participation for the intrams.  It was not as if I did it all, the other officers were actually more hands on, while I am more on assigning tasks and responsibilities and “putting it all together and making it flow smoothly.”    Too “busy” as overhead chairman of the JIBA for the intrams, I was still able to find time to join three events:  acoustic rendition, instrumental (replacing the original “master of strings” competition), and GI quiz bowl (I “captained” in all three events.  I applied and taught them the use of my usual strategy or practices, which includes a prayer before the start of the respective competition… and lots of psyching out strategies during or before the competition).  You can watch our acoustic rendition and instrumental performances in this site, which we lost (I could give reasons why, but a loss is a loss.  No excuses).  However, we won the GI quiz in an epic fight.

I christened our team as “Team Rabat.”  “Rabat” is a word in some parts of Bicol which means fluke.  It was our joke that we would win quiz bowls by “stroke of luck” answers.  Nonetheless, I assembled this team for the quiz bowl for the Management Days of the previous year.  I pick Jessie, for the “numbers”, and Gens, for the “words”, to join me, the ultimate “King of Analysis and Irrelevant Facts” (hahahaha!  To Jess and Gens:  you have to admit, though, I am the ace, and I make 60%-90% of our answers).  They serve as my “sounding boards”, to bounce out ideas or rationalization before I make an “instinctive” analyzed guess if we don’t know the answer to a question.   We actually make a good team, since we won our first quiz bowl together during the Management Days, and were rewarded a cash prize.

So, as overall head of the JIBA, I pick “Team Rabat” to compete in the college intrams’ GI quiz that year, now with a management days quiz bowl under the team’s belt.    We were never at all in the lead of the entire competition until that decisive last question.  We were second place so far and were down by 3 points.  The last question in the difficult category, which was worth 5 points, in paraphrase, was “what was the living together of animals for benefit?” (the question was longer than that.  As I pointed out, it’s my paraphrase).  I quickly wrote “symbiosis.”  Now, the usual answer that would be made would be “mutualism”, the popular example of symbiosis, and I know that it was probable that the other teams would have it as their answer.  My two teammates told me, “It’s mutualism.”  They wanted me to change it.  My rationalization: “We are down by three.  Now, the other groups, including the lead group, would probably answer ‘mutualism’ – the most popular type of symbiosis.  Now if all teams answer ‘mutualism’, and if it is correct, the lead group still wins.  And if all of the teams answer ‘mutualism’, and it is wrong, the lead group still wins.  Now, if we answer differently from what they are thinking, which is ‘symbiosis’, which is also probable to be correct, we have a gambling chance of edging them.  If ‘symbiosis’ is correct, and ‘mutualism’ is wrong, then we win by 2 points.  If we are wrong with ‘symbiosis’, it is no different from the scenarios in which we answer ‘mutualism’ like the other teams.  By ‘symbiosis’, we have a one last wild gambit.  Besides, I am almost sure that ‘symbiosis’ is the correct answer.”  My analysis and answer were correct.   The other teams answered “mutualism” but the correct answer was “symbiosis”, our answer, and we won by two points.  It was like a buzzer beater game winner.        

Dean’s Lister (Senior)

In the previous year, I got an Academic Scholar award during recognition day, this time, though it was the same type of medal, it was a Dean’s Lister award, after being an Academic Scholar for both semesters of the school year.   So, in my entire stay in college I get to be a three-time Academic Scholar (which also means I had refunded 50% or 75% of the tuition fee each semester three times), with the latter two making it possible for me to become Dean’s Lister.  

By this time, when I got this medal, I was now greatly praying for that ultimate prize, the “impossible” dream.  And that is, to graduate “Cum Laude.”

Cum Laude

This medal is the “King of All Medals.”  This medal alone outweighs all the previous medals put together.  Great was the joy I felt when I got it.    

Outrageous.  Me?  Cum laude?  I was never the scholarly type.  I was never an honor student in high school.  It was “impossible.”   

And that is why I appreciate this medal and this honor.  Because it is “impossible.”  But because of God, he made the “impossible” possible.    He gave me the wisdom and intelligence.  He made the high grades possible.  All Glory belongs to Him. 

These medals (especially the cum laude medal), and the honors they represent, are only temporary.  All honors and favors that bring me temporary joy, are only “glimpses” of the Ultimate Medal of True Honor and Unspeakable Joy that can be found solely in the Giver of these gifts. 

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Failing BS Accountancy

“Nobody passed the remedial exam.”
Those were the words of our Financial Accounting teacher. And with those words, I was out of the Accountancy Department. I was not able to make the cut-off grade in the subject, and among the others who took the remedial exam, failed. A major part of me didn’t give a damn, while some small part was disappointed since all I had gone through past semesters seemed to be worthless – it could had been better if I was cut-off much much much earlier.
I never wanted to take the remedial exam anyway. I didn’t like BS Accountancy as my course. The only thing that kept me there is because the Accountancy students are considered to be the elites and the most intelligent in Bicol University, rivaled only or seconded by Engineering and Nursing students. But I dislike the course itself, and the system in the department. Maybe I had the wrong reason of staying there, so Providence allowed me to fail.
Yes, I can still continue to study Accountancy in another school, Divine Word College, second best school to study Accounting in the area. But decided not to due to three reasons: 1) Failing the remedial exam was for me was a way out of a course I don’t like. And with this attitude of dislike of mine with the course and the results of my performance, I don’t think I can pass the board exam anyway; or if I get to pass it, will not enjoy the life of a CPA anyway. It was best to stop. 2) There are a lot of things to take care of to transfer to another school (Form 137, honorable dismissal, certificate of good moral character, pics, documentary stamp, etcetera, etcetera…). I do not have the patient for them all. 3) We cannot afford the tuition in Divine, a private school. So, I decided to remain in the University, to take up Financial Management instead, and hopefully, graduate in two years.
It was funny that at the end of the test paper of our remedial exam was the quote, “Your plan God is better than my dreams.” It made me smile while I was taking it, because it was the same thing in my mind. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
God’s will be done.

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COMPLAINING ABOUT COLLEGE

I do not really like college. I am about four months in college right now. But I still do not like it. A lot of things are bothering me. And I feel a bit lonely in college. I think I regret taking my course. I still do not like my course, how much I tried.

My course in college is BS Accountancy, and the university has pretty high standards here. I have to get at least a 2.4 grade to pass. It seems easy, but it's not. I have to admit it; my performance in school is not really excellent. Maybe I am just too lazy… since I am like this in high school. I never developed good studying habits. I guess I am anxious if I will be able to get a 2.4 every semester and be able to keep on studying Accounting.

In our first day, our Accounting teacher made us write an essay why we took up Accountancy. My essay goes like this: "Food, Entertainment, Music and Literature are the things that I love and interest me most in life. But I believe I will be able to have something to do with these things in my life, even though I will not take a course that deals with them, so I decided to take another course - that is not related to them. I decided to take Accountancy because of four reasons. First, it is the hardest course to pass for in this university. I want to try how far can I go. Second, I am very weak with numbers, and I want to improve. Third, I want to continue the legacy of my mother, who finished Business Administration Major in Accounting in this university, but did not get the chance to take the board exam. And Fourth, it is the same course that my girlfriend took…"

Another thing that bothers me… after we entered college, my girlfriend and I seem to become distant. One major thing why I did not choose to go to UP Los Banos to take up Com Sci (Yes, I passed the UPCAT) is because I do not want to be far from her. But now, there seems to be a gap. There seems to be a sudden coldness. She seems to avoid me. We never talk. The only time we were able to talk in college was on my birthday and one week before the intrams. Texting is rarer than talking. Maybe it's all this studying… but I believe there is something more. If anyone ask her if we are still on, she replies "Ewan (I do not know)." I don't understand. I tried to ask her why, but her reply was "ewan", too. I can let her go if that is what is the best for her and it will make her happy. Even if it means I ending up brokenhearted - so be it. I hope she answer my questions. This matter really needs to be resolve. It's kind of lonely, you know…
I really love her… (Hell, I hate when it when I am sentimental)

Damn Poverty! It really is bad. That's another thing. Poverty is starting to sting. I only get enough for transportation. I used to have - at least - enough. I still et by… but I sure do hope my allowance increase. But I guess I should be thankful for the little amount I get. At least, it is still a blessing.

My health - as usual - is worrying me also. It may be psychological, but I think I am weaker now than back in high school. At least, I do not have any bad illness - at least something that I know of.

Anyway, I should always remember my motto "Hakuna Matata". God will take care of my worries. I trust the Big Guy. He'll get me through.

But I cannot help wondering why I am in college. College depresses me. I am not enjoying college like I did with high school. Then I remembered another thought - a thing that happened years ago.

My school back in Grade I was once located nearly at the same location where the college I am studying now stands… so I easily recollected that incident eleven years ago. The building of the college was under construction back then. When I was in Grade I, my mother fetched me every afternoon after school. My school was from morning to afternoon. In the morning that day, my teacher suddenly announced that classes are suspended that afternoon. Well, the morning class ended and one by one, my classmates - then my teacher - left. I was left alone. Then it struck me; my mother has no way of learning the announcement that classes for the afternoon are suspended. Then I cried since I do not know what to do. It was lunchtime and I cannot bring myself to stop crying and eat my lunch. I was famished. Then suddenly, I caught the attention of two beautiful college girls (they were beautiful for me since they have beautiful hearts). They asked what was wrong, and I told them about it. They calmed me down and offered to take me to my mother. I stopped crying and agreed. I told them how to get to my mother's place of work; I have no way of going there alone since I still cannot go alone back then and besides, I have no money (never had allowance until Grade III). Well, they took me there and my mother was surprised to see me as the girls explained what happened. My mother thanked them and treated them some lunch. They politely refused since they explained that they have a test in the afternoon, and judging from the distance from the school and my mother's workplace, they are already late. They quickly said their good-byes then left.

As I think of them now, maybe they were Accountancy students and were at risk of missing a test..., which is terrible for an Accounting student. Anyway, Accountancy students or not, I am thankful for them. They sacrificed their lunch… and maybe their grades because of missing or being late for that test. That was a big thing for me, and I carried that memory all through out elementary and high school. I will never see those girls again and even if I do, I will never remember their faces. I can never give them back a favor. Each time I think of that moment, any cynicism in me melts.

And as I remembered that, my dislike for college lessens. Yes, I still don't like college… but I think it is going to be okay. Maybe, good things will come my way in college. I might lose my girlfriend or fail in Accountancy or any other bad things may happen… but I will not allow that to stop me. Now I am in college. Maybe the only thing I can repay back those two girls who helped me years ago, is to try to do to others what they did to me. Maybe I have to start thinking less about myself 9and my anxieties) and more for others… like what those college students did for me years ago.

That memory, I will keep for a lifetime… and I hope I can give someone the same kind of memory I got. Maybe that's why I am in college…

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High School Reflections

I graduated from high school last March 31 in a nice graduation ceremony. Therefore, my high school life is over. The last four years were the best of my life. I learned many things. My interests widened. I met many wonderful people. My perspective upgraded. Identity settled. Talents discovered and improved. Memorable moments collected. Experiences gained. Missions accomplished. And… I grew 15% taller during the time.
I learned many things in high school, inside and outside the classroom. I learned of atoms, theorems, grammar, literature, Broadway, chiaroscuro, axioms, GDP, html, etc. I also learned of emotions, values, principles, rules, community, life and such. I also enjoyed amazing quotes from our teachers like the one of our Physic teacher’s “In the ocean of life, God is our buoyant force, no matter how strong the winds or gigantic the waves are, we shall not sink as long as we are anchored on Him…” and witty comments like our TLE IV teacher’s “The reason students get very low grades in tests is that they don’t follow instructions… the instructions say ‘choose the correct answer’ but they choose the wrong one instead!”
My interest also widened. Reading has maintained itself as my primary pastime, but I only learned to appreciate all kinds of literatures in the early part of my teenage years. I am a gamer since elementary, and I still am. And as new games came, I found myself “addicted” as they arrive. My love for music also increased during high school, prompting me to improve my musical skills. I also learned to play basketball during high school and it became my favorite sport. I am not athlete material but I am thankful I learned to play basketball.
I met many unique and interesting people. I had great friends that shared high school with me. They were amazing people, especially the CCC. CCC members were the collection of the best boys in our batch. Talent, brains, looks, charisma, etc… you can find all of them in the CCC.
I also met in high school a very wonderful girl that captured my heart. In the first year of my high school life, I said to myself that I do not want to have a girlfriend. I was so sure of myself that I will never fall for someone. Three years later, I discovered that my feelings to a girl I like is not simple “crush” anymore. Few months later, she became my girlfriend.
It was another thing I learned in high school. You can never be so sure. You change. Identities and personalities vary. High school is a transition period. In those four years, I really grew and changed.
I have to admit that I was not exactly a “model student” in high school. I was very mischievous and fun loving. I like “trippings” and practical jokes (I will miss those things). I was not a notorious rule breaker, but it does not mean I did not break any rules. I have a clean record in the guidance office, but it does not mean I did not get into trouble. I am not a warfreak, but I had one or two fights when I was not able to control myself (I avoid fights but I am not a pushover). I have no vices but I cut classes when I get tired. I cut classes when I grew tired of schooling, occasionally going to the café or just hanging around. CCC members cut classes in small groups or in wide scale walkouts (when protesting because the lessons are boring). But we were able to get good enough grades anyway since we are not really bad students. Boys are just full of mischief and fun.
High school is certainly the best. Now it’s all over. The four years I spent in high school was one of the most wonderful years of my life. I will never trade them for anything. I thank God for those blessed years. It’s a bit sad that it is now all over. But like before, I need another transition. I need to “grow up” again. I need to grow out of the mischievous boy to become a responsible young man. I need to learn new things, obtain new knowledge, discover new talents, find new interests, gain more experiences, upgrade perspectives, improve my identity, meet new people, collect more memorable moments, accomplish new missions and maybe grow a little taller. I need to move on with my life. College is a lot different from high school but I think it’s not that bad. It might be interesting, too. We’ll see what college has to offer.

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