Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn valentines. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng
Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn valentines. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng

Thứ Năm, 14 tháng 2, 2013

"Valentines? Bah, Humbug!" Part 2


This time around, it would carry a different tone from what I wrote two years ago.


I have a problem with Valentine’s Day.  A particular date – Februrary 14 – should never dictate when one should make somebody feel special.  Because if it does, it creates expectations.  Toxic expectations, that when not met, creates nasty disappointments and heartbreaks. 

Valentine’s Day makes you aim for a superficial title.  The title of being “romantic.”  It makes you live for a superficial experience.  To experience an idea called “romantic.”  And when this idea of “romantic” is not achieved, if nothing “romantic” happened, then the day becomes a failure.  Being “romantic” becomes more important than the actual person.    

That’s just sad, isn’t it?  The memory of being loving the entire year is erased if you fail to be “romantic” during this one particular day.

Bah, humbug.  

Thứ Ba, 22 tháng 2, 2011

"Valentines? Bah, Humbug!"


I was a Valentines Scrooge for years.  As far as a season for celebrating love (that possesses pagan origins in its traditions and a commercialized frame) is concerned, I pick Christmas over Valentines.  Indeed, since it celebrates the birth of the Greatest Lover in History, Christmas is, then, the true season for celebrating love.  What do we need Valentines for?  It pales in comparison with Christmas as a season of love and as a celebration overall.  Valentines actually does not celebrate the noble essence of love per se, but it actually centralizes on romance.  Yup, just romance.  Love can be romantic, but romance does not always translate to love at all.  Romance is an illusion.  It does make us feel good, but, usually, it’s not because of love.  It’s because of the high that romance gives us.  Therefore, I was never into Valentines because it overrates romance (how redundant is this statement?) and does not really deal much with love.  You want to celebrate love in its true spirit?  Do it on Christmas, or better yet, throughout the year.

I still stand on of what I have said above.  But, this year, I get to, at least, appreciate the Valentines spirit.  

No, I was not bitter before.  I was just not into Valentines.  In fact, same as the previous years, I also had no Valentines date this year.  But this year… well, I was in a state of “being in love” when February 14 hit.     

In love?  Really?  Let’s do a checklist… Am I exhilarated with her company?  Check.  Do I easily miss her even if I have just seen her earlier in the day?  Check.  Do her gaze and smile bedazzled me?  Check.  Does she make my heart beat in a way that it nearly requires for a crash cart?  Check.  Yes, it’s definitely textbook definition of “falling in love”.  That or it’s borderline sociopathic obsession.  Then again, those two are the same anyway, right? 

Seriously speaking though, as far as emotions go, I am definitely in love.  This is something nobody expected.  I never planned for this.  It was a bombshell for me, for her, and for everybody around us.  We have known each other for some time, but I never noticed that she is such an awesome individual.  Just recently, all of a sudden, I saw how wonderful, stunning, and lovely she really is.      
       
Is it “true love”?   Hmmm, I don’t know yet.  Do I believe in “true love”?  If “true love” means the “One” that has been prepared or destined by God to be one’s partner for life, then I do.  But to really determine if what I have now is “true love” is hard.  As far as feelings are concerned, I believe that the way you feel for “true love” is just the same as any romantic feeling there is since the emotions brought by being in love are all dependent on chemicals, like PEA, that are released by the body to bring such feelings.  So in a physiological sense, all types of “falling in love” – whether it’s true love, teenage love, puppy love, or mere infatuation – give the same kinds of emotions, maybe in different degrees or intensity, but the same kinds of emotions nonetheless.  The body will not release a previously dormant special chemical or trigger a special mental function to give you a “special feeling” when “true love” comes.   No, emotions for “falling in love” are uniform in all kinds.  Therefore, relying merely on emotions is not a true determinant for “true love”, there is no such “special feeling” for “true love”.   

How can “true love” be truly verified then if emotions are unreliable?  Well, since it is God who destines it, then it is God who reveals it in his perfect time.  I am still not sure how that will come about, but I am sure that’s how it works.   So until that God-set perfect time arrives that will make one truly absolutely sure, then it is best to wait… and wait… and wait… and more waiting.  And lots of fervent praying comes to play as well.  And those people who rash into things (i.e. relationships) regret it in the end.       

So, I may not yet know if it’s “true love” – if she is the “One” that God has prepared for me.  However, there is nothing wrong in honestly stating what I feel right now since it’s a reality.  I am in love (again, basing on emotions).  Very much in love. But my love is limited as a human love can be at this point.  A love that, sometimes, still wishes to be returned.  A love that I can’t enforce yet.  A love that still gets hurt.  A love that can’t assure the future (since I can’t see the future); taking into consideration the fact that romantic feelings do change in time. 

But, nonetheless, state it as it is… fact: I am in love.  I love her.  And she loves me.  Fortunately, she agrees with my own ideals and sentiments (which I had already stated above).  That’s why we decided to don’t hurry.  We wait (and wait and wait).  And pray (and pray and pray).  To have no commitments to each other and to not close doors.  To have no expectations.  To put our full hope in God and not on each other.  To continue to seek God’s will in our lives.  And, until then, we build and enjoy our friendship.   And I really appreciate and am really thankful for this friendship… and for her.       

And, oh, for the record, indeed, I haven’t had any Valentines date this year… but I did enjoy a post-Valentines date.

Thứ Hai, 11 tháng 2, 2008

CHAIN OF THOUGHTS: February

Here are some February scribbles

Spider-Man
Here’s what recently significantly happened to Spider-Man/Peter Parker. This is taken from a Wikipedia article.
The story begins in Amazing Spider-Man #544. With Aunt May slowly dying after being shot by a sniper during the closing hours of the Superhero Civil War, Peter Parker is forced to ask Tony Stark for financial assistance. Iron Man first attempts to bring Peter in for opposing the Superhero Registration Act, but stops when he learns of May's situation. He listens to Peter, but tells him he can't help him. He does however send Jarvis with a $2,000,000 check that will cover May's medical needs. Peter then sets out to help May, any way he can.
Continuing in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24, Peter seeks council with Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange informs Peter that he can do nothing to grant Aunt May her life back. However, he helps Peter seek the aid of several others including Doctor Doom, the High Evolutionary, Reed Richards, and Doctor Octopus. Without Strange's approval, Peter attempts to go back in time using one of the spells. He harms himself in the process. Strange heals his wounds and sends him on his way, encouraging him to be by his Aunt's side at her death. On his way to the hospital, Peter is confronted by a little girl, who says she holds the answer to his problem.
In The Sensational Spider-Man (vol. 2) #41 Peter talks to the little girl, who runs off. While pursuing her, Peter encounters two men; An overweight software tester who says he wishes he were a hero, and a middle-aged technology magnate, who says he'd give up all his fortune just to be with a girl he'd known and lost years ago. Peter then encounters a woman in red, who tells him that the two men he met were him, from alternate possible timelines where Peter was never bitten by the radioactive spider. The woman transforms into Mephisto, who tells Peter he can save Aunt May. But as payment, Mephisto wants, not Peter's soul, but his and Mary Jane's marriage. In return for saving May, he wants to wipe all memory of Peter's marriage to MJ from all but one part of their souls, so that he may listen to those parts' pain for the rest of eternity. Peter and Mary Jane are given until midnight the following night to decide their answer.
As the story concludes in Amazing Spider-Man #545, Peter and Mary Jane agree to the deal after several hours lamenting over the decision. Mary Jane whispers to Mephisto that she can offer him something in return for removing the knowledge of Peter's identity from the world. Before sealing the deal, Mephisto reveals that the little girl was a representation of Peter and Mary Jane's possible child that they will never have. Mary Jane reassures Peter that the two will somehow find each other again. Mephisto changes history so that Peter and Mary Jane never married, and Spider-Man did unmask but, no one seems to remember whose face was underneath. Peter wakes up alone in bed, living again with Aunt May, who is alive and well, in her old house, which burned down prior to siding with Tony Stark. He attends a party being held for one of his friends, a resurrected Harry Osborn back from rehab (who did not die, as a result of Mephisto's magic). He glimpses Mary Jane sadly leaving the party. They then all toast a "Brand New Day".
* * *

I sympathize with Peter Parker, Spider-Man, not only because he’s one of my favorite characters, but because he don’t deserve this. Mary Jane is just too important to him. It is common knowledge to Spidy fans like me that Peter Parker is a misfortune magnet. But even with all this problems and pains that bombards his life as Peter Parker and Spider-Man, he continues to do good things. One of the best things in his life is MJ, one of his strengths, and he in some degree, he forgets the strain of being a “misfortune magnet” because he had MJ.

I don’t know why I had been affected by these current happenings to Spidy. Anyway, in the past, he had lost MJ before but found her again, and Spidy had greater problems than this, but he prevailed over them. Given the time (and a writer’s good storyline), all of this would come to a good end.
I don’t know why I’m being too sentimental about it. Maybe it is because of this Valentines feel in the air.

Valentines
“Why do you not like Valentines?”
“It’s pagan,” I reply with a laugh.
Of course, though Valentines do really have pagan origins and symbolisms (like Christmas), but that is not really the reason. I am not just into this “love and romance and valentines and such” stuff.
And I don’t like red much.

LA Lakers
But I like the purple and gold.
My beloved Lakers have Gasol now. I hope the Lakers, led by Kobe will win a championship this season. Go Lakers! I hope they dominate February with many wins.
I like the Lakers a lot. And the Laker Girls, too.

Girls
When Stephen Hawking was asked by Larry King what he thinks is the greatest mystery in the universe, the great physicist replied, “women.” I agree with the genius.
I cannot understand the fairer sex. They are just too difficult to read. Sure a father may understand a daughter, or a husband a wife, or a boyfriend a girlfriend, but when it’s man-woman, I don’t think so a male will.

I’ll admit it here…
As being a person is concerned, I respect females. I am not prejudiced when it’s come to this – as persons. I’ll admit they are good or equal or superior to men in some things if they really do, I will recognize it without bias – as persons. Females are good friends and acquaintances – as persons. Yes, all these as “persons.”
But, I will admit it here, I have a dislike and distrust of the female sex.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them. And I am not prejudiced by them. And I do not think of them as the inferior sex. No. No such thing. I like them as persons, and as friends, as sisters, as mothers, as aunts, etc.
I just have this dislike and distrust of females.
Maybe because females are dangerous if you allow them to affect you.

Analogy

Maybe an analogy illustration can explain it. Just as Christ commanded, “love the sinners, and hate the sin.” So, I may like and trust a female as a person or as my friend, but dislike and distrust females. Sure, it’s not much of a perfect analogy since being a female is not a sin. It’s just… ah, okay, I’ll admit it, it’s not an appropriate analogy. But I hope you get the point.

Feminism and The War of the Sexes

Females had become very active of “female emancipation” and cries of “equality” since the 19th century. Oh, feminism is very popular. I know some about it – heck, I read a lot you know. I agree with “equality” of the sex and rights of suffrage and such. But when feminism goes on the extreme – like branding males as evil, insisting of God’s feminity, Sapphism, or believing that females are superior to male and that they have the divine right of always “knowing what is best” – we got a problem Womankind who are into feminism are very prone to extreme feminism. There is a danger there. Norms and effective systems are threatened.

Yeah. Male and female are equal, I agree with that. As far as sex is concerned, male and female are equal. But in other senses, male and female equality is impossible. There are roles that are best done my men than women (and, fine, I’ll add, “vice versa” to not appear biased). Females see the world that seems to be male-dominated and patriarchal, as male oriented… but this doesn’t mean female inferiority. Female should not think so, because if they do, when they feel insecure and inferior, they will believe in extreme feminism.

Sure, I admit maybe all this “emancipation” and feminism started because of male arrogance. But feminism is also arrogance. Extreme feminism – specifically – is arrogance oriented, and biased. It brainwashes women, and it treats males as the enemy… and it start to make harmony between male and female impossible – which is not.

Males, feeling threatened of this, begun to fight it wrongly. Making chauvinism.
My mother once told me that I am a chauvinist. Maybe slight. All males have some slight chauvinism in them, as defense of this irrational and extreme feminism. But I will not defend extreme chauvinism. It’s as much as an evil as extreme feminism. Sexism is evil.

This open and close war between the male and the females is a reality. Some make sci-fiction stories (feminist authors mostly) where there is a war between the two sexes, and the male being wiped out and the world, with only females remaining, becomes a paradise. I don’t think so a world with one of the sexes missing is a paradise, God created Eden with a male and a female. Anyway, this sci-fi scenario may happen if this “war” about gender domination gets out of hand.

There are instances where there are good-humored debates about which is the superior sex, it’s good as long as it’s a good-humored debate and discussions, as long as there is no extremities. God has designed roles and systems. And we will have just to trust God that His system is the best, and there is no issue of “dominance” or “superiority” in this system.

But I still distrust and dislike the females.

Women Leaders
No, I don’t mind being lead by women. I’m not prejudiced. As long as she’s a competent and respectable leader, no problem with me.
But it’s frustrating to be lead by someone who’s not.

Movies
I find movies good relievers of frustrations.

Anyway, it’s February again and romance is popular. And romantic movies, too. I am not much into the “romantic” genre, but I admit I enjoyed some because of the good story or/and concept. Here is the list of those romantic movies I watched and liked (there is no order nor chronology).

Cutting Edge
– this is about a hockey player who decided to figure skate with a pro-female figure skater as a partner in a couple figure skating contest. I don’t know why I enjoyed this but I did. It was the first romantic movie I liked.

Notting Hill – “I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” Ugh. Plainly stupid. One of movie history’s worst lines. But Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts had chemistry, the Spike character was hilarious and it had some fine points.

A Walk to Remember – good story.

Music and Lyrics
– I decided to watch it because of the music theme in it. I found the story enjoyable.

Sleepless in Seattle – again I forgot the story and why I liked it.

Shallow Hal
– Hilarious, and because it paired gorgeous Gwyneth Paltrow to funny Jack Black. Moral of the story, “Beauty dwells in the heart.”

Pretty Women
– another story I forgot but liked. I just remember it was about an executive (Richard Geere) and a hooker (Julia Roberts).

I am not exposed to much “romance” movies. If you notice, must of the movies I mentioned are romantic-comedies, so I probably watched them for the sake of the comedy, or because my parents were watching it and I decided to hang around and watch it too. I don’t know of I enjoyed other romantic movies aside from those I mentioned. If there were others, I probably forgot about them. And maybe there are other great and enjoyable romantic movies I hadn’t watched, so I cannot give comment to.

Books
As for romantic books, no I am not into them. But since I love literature, I had read some. But given the choice, I’ll choose classic romance like “Pride and Prejudice” (although I still hadn’t read it anyway) than those there are nowadays. But I like the story of one titled “Oliver’s Story”, because it has a good story.

Music
In my non-preference of “love and romance and such” in terms of genre in other arts or fields, I guess I have to make an exception here since most of the songs and music created were about “love and romance and such.”
Besides, Paul McCartney said (or sang), “Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what’s wrong with that?”
Good point, Sir Paul.

Dating and Relationships
I got nothing against dating and relationships… but they are risks, and not to be taken lightly and jump into them quickly.
Personally, I avoid them. I had some glimpse of these things a long time ago, and I admit, I can’t handle it. Besides, I have no money and time for such things. And, simply, because I am not interested.

As Ending
I admit I had felt “emotional thrills” and can be affected initially by a females allure or seduction – but only initially, subsequently it often wears off. Things like this don’t happen often anyway, since I am not interested much in this “love and romance and such” stuff and avoid such things.
But even in my cynicism of “love and romance and such” – because they are just “emotional thrills” – I am not biased to admit, that maybe, they are important. And maybe God gave such emotions and concepts to humans for a reason, like giving a taste of what is not much of comprehension and reality to us, such as the Love of God.

Thứ Tư, 14 tháng 2, 2007

Love And Romance... Almost Everywhere

Hmmm. I don’t understand why love and romance are almost everywhere. Really they are.

First, in stories in literature and movies. Sure there are novels and flicks that have romance all that stuff as the main concept (love stories). But look at other kinds of stories as well; love and romance are still sub-plots or sub-themes of it. In action, fantasy, mystery, suspense, thriller, comedy… whatever, why do there are often some romantic themes in them? Like, the main character in action or comedy often have a leading lady (or leading man), or the genre is suspense but still you can find a romantic theme there somewhere, or the hero of a fantasy should rescue a damsel in distress… and things like that that have romantic flavor in stories. Read a book or watch a movie, doesn’t matter what kind, chances are there is some romantic part in it. Heck, even in the comic books, Superman has Lois Lane.

And also on those TV shows. Doesn’t matter if it is a soap (which often have the same dosage of romance as much as drama in them) or something like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville, Charmed, X-Files, Star Trek or anything, there are romantic them in each of them somewhere. And you can also find it on cartoons and other animations, from Japanese animes to Disney shows, love and romance are still there. Tamahome has Miaka, and Mickey Mouse has a Minnie Mouse. And even though there’s a big difference between Armitage and Kim Possible (though both of the main characters are female)… yup, there’re still romantic themes in them.

There, love and romance are in literature, movies and TV shows, even if the story is not about love at all, you’ll still find some romantic parts in them.

And it doesn’t en with stories. It’s in music, too. Most songs have themes like love, romance, heartbreak, courtship, or anything of that’s sort. See? Love and romantic themes are even in music. Love is a popular theme with songwriter. Even hardcore rock bands sing songs about love or anything related to it. Some even spent their entire music careers to sing only about love (ever heard of an Air Supply song with no love theme in it?). Wipe out love and romance out of the music scene and you also wipe out a very large percentage of all known songs in human history (all Air Supply songs will be wiped out, and Cueshe has nothing to sing about).

Love and Romance are all around us nowadays, from media to airwaves. IT only proves how much people are interested in these themes. With all these different ideas and concepts about love from music, literature and entertainment, makes me wonder of humans still knows what true love is all about.

Mmmm. All these stuff about love and romance are okay sometimes, I guess. It gives some thrills and sparks – not only to stories – but also to our lives. I just hope that all this will not distort the true meaning of love.
The danger of it all is with all this concepts about love and romance everywhere, our generation will jump into relationships (or will want to jump) without thinking; with no patience, understanding, and evaluation of emotions, and with this in mind, “Heck, even Mr. Bean and Donald Duck have girlfriends, why shouldn’t I have one?” Pity.