‘Hyde, Jekyll, Me’ Gratifies, Then Dissatisfies

I just finished binge-watching Hyde, Jekyll, Me a few days ago. 

I think it’s still early to say that I’ve become a bona fide fan of Koreanovela (Filipino term for Korean TV series).  Hyde, Jekyll, Me is just the third Koreanovela that I was compelled to watch in its entirety.  Hence, the pool size is still small to make a definite conclusion.  But I guess this won’t probably be the last Koreanovela that I will binge-watch.  I think I Hear Your Voice really started something.  I extremely loved I Hear Your Voice, and I wondered if another Koreanovela could impact me as much.  My curiosity in replicating the experience with I Hear Your Voice led me to watch Pinocchio (which had the same lead actor and writer as IHYV).  I thought it wasn’t nearly as great, but I still enjoyed the show enough to see it through until its last episode.  Subsequently Pinocchiosomewhat led me to Hyde, Jekyll, Me, since the latter succeeded the former’s SBS time slot, and Hyde, Jekyll, Me might send me to follow another Koreanovela.

Anyway, Hyde, Jekyll, Me is a mix of romantic comedy and psychological thriller, and the premise is – as what the title implies – loosely inspired by the classic Robert Louis Stevenson novel, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.  It tells the story of Gu Seo-jin – the executive director of the theme park Wonder Land, and the next in line to be CEO of his family’s conglomerate, Wonder Group – who contracts DID (dissociative identity disorder), or most commonly known as “multiple personality disorder”, after experiencing a traumatic kidnapping when he was a kid.  The twist is – instead of a “Hyde” monster-personality emerging from a “Jekyll” normal-personality – the original personality Seo-jin is grave, heartless, cynical, and only cares for what benefits him, while the personality that emerged from his illness – who took the name “Robin” – is kind, cheerful, pleasant, possesses a Messiah complex, and creates comics.  Seo-jin and Robin have an understandable conflict with each other, but they nonetheless observe a set of protocols they have agreed on in order to survive and to keep Seo-jin’s condition a secret, one of which is to pretend that they’re twins.

A major shakeup in the existence of Seo-jin and Robin occurs at the arrival of Jang Ha-na, the new commandant of the circus show of Wonder Land.  Jang Ha-na becomes the key witness to the abduction of Dr. Kang, Seo-jin’s psychologist who, prior to her disappearance, revealed to him that she has found the cure to his condition.  But before he can get to her, she disappears, and Ha-na was the last to see her.  However, due to a traumatic encounter with the kidnaper, Ha-na can’t remember his face.  Desperate to find Dr. Kang, Seo-jin’s arranges for Ha-na to be kept protected as well as have hypnosis sessions with Dr. Kang’s talented protégé, Yoon Tae-joo, in order for her to remember the face of the abductor.

Amidst this, a love triangle ensues between Seo-jin, Robin, and Ha-na.  Initially unaware of the truth between Seo-jin and Robin, she buys their assertion that they’re twin brothers.  She gets closer to and develops feelings for Robin, whereas, on the other hand, butts heads with the insufferable Seo-jin.  However, later on, Seo-jin finds himself getting attracted to Ha-na, while she finds herself caring for him and be confused about it since she loves Robin.

This unique love triangle – two different personalities in one body loving the same girl – was the initial draw of this series on me.  This is the first time that such concept was explored (I don’t count Me, Myself, and Irene as a real love triangle involving split personalities), and I was intrigued.  The series was indeed able to use this fresh romantic scenario to create a delightfully complex dynamic... most of the time (I’ll get back to this later).

Another intriguing element of Hyde, Jekyll, Me is the suspense and mystery brought by the psychological thriller aspect of the story.  The utilization of psychological concepts in the plot was nicely done.  The science is obviously wobbly, but it did have an enjoyable presence, which reminded me of the psychology books I’ve enjoyed in the past (including Sybil which detailed the real-life story of Sybil Dorsett, who suffered from 16 different split personalities). There were a couple of well-done twists but these can be predicted if one would carefully observe the details being provided as the narrative progressed.  Nevertheless, the storytelling was gripping in respect to this aspect of the series.

During, the first 16 or so episodes of Hyde, Jekyll, Me, I felt that the series had a good chance of catching up with my fondness for I Hear Your Voice.  There was a lot of dumb in it, but there was a sufficient dose of smarts in it, too.  The dilemma of the multifaceted romance was also seemingly going into a gratifying resolution.  The message that the story was trying to sold us on were working well, too.  There were flaws that I nitpicked for a while, but they didn’t linger in my mind long since I was enjoying it much.  It was in good position during those 16 episodes or so.

But all that good was not sustained till the end.  I was much unsatisfied of where the story went.  I was frustrated that a story that was generally well-told at that point is ruined by bad writing in its closing episodes.  There were parts that were stretched which I felt weren’t necessary to stretch, and parts that were rushed which I felt should have been mined and expounded more.  The resolution of the dilemma of the romance was disappointing in so many points.  The narrative spent a lot of time on the side of the love triangle the audience was definitely least interested on.  Sure, it eventually shifted to the more interesting side, but the transition towards it was poorly and limitedly executed.

The bulk of Hyde, Jekyll, Me is pretty good.  The characters are pretty likable.  The romance was riveting (before it got to its closing episodes).  There was enthralling things in many parts of its narrative.  The themes explored were thoughtful.  The humor, drama, and tension have good chemistry.  The acting was fantastic – especially by Hyun Bin (Seo-jin/Robin) and Sung Joon (Tae-joo).  So there’s enjoyment to be found in this series.  Unfortunately, the bad ending significantly diluted the story.

Hyde, Jekyll, Me was like getting a seven course dinner in which you find the first six courses scrumptious, but an awful dessert was served in the end.   It was a generally pleasing meal, but you still left with a bad taste in your mouth.

Miscellaneous musings – WITH SPOILERS:

• Gu Seo-iin is, by far, the best character in the series.  The characterization and character development were so well-done.  I was rooting for him all series long.
• Han ji-min was a descent actress.  However, her character, Jang Ha-na, suffered the most from the bad writing.  I was hoping that Ha-na would find herself being in love with both Robin and Seo-jin, and after her struggles, she would eventually figure out a way to reconcile her feelings for the two personalities, and be the ultimate factor in making them whole.  For a while, it felt like the story was indeed going there.  But that didn’t happen.  Instead, Ha-na focused her love on Robin, and kept on insisting that her love was solely for the Robin personality.  Heck, they even got married (so dumb).  She doesn’t seem to comprehend – as well as most of the characters around them – that though Robin is a distinct personality from Seo-jin, he is nonetheless a creation of Seo-jin’s subconscious, and still a part – an extension – of Seo-jin.  All those things she loved about Robin is basically hidden somewhere inside Seo-jin.  And if ever Seo-jin gets cured from his DID, he and Robin should merge (just like the case with Sybil Dorsett.  When she got cured, she recovered or absorbed every memory and quality of her other 15 selves).  Sure, in the end, that exactly what happened – “Robin” was integrated into Seo-jin, and the two got together.  However, there was no real development about it.  I never really see Ha-na identifying Seo-jin himself as the man she loves.  It felt like she only get to love him because the qualities of Robin emerged from him.  Throughout the last episodes, it seemed Ha-na would have even preferred for Robin to fully take over Seo-jin’s body and life rather than for Seo-jin to get cured from his illness.  All of these kind of portrayed Ha-na as dumb and superficial.
• Sung Joon delivered a very compelling performance as the “big bad” of the story.  His transition from a pleasant, caring Yoon Tae-joo to a vengeful, obsessive Lee Soo-hyun was nearly as impeccable as Hyun Bin’s distinctive portrayal of Seo-jin and Robin.
• Detective Na’s Conan O’Brien hairstyle was enough to make me laugh at the character.  But actor Lee Joon-hyuk is legitimately funny.
• Min Woo-jung’s cheer dance routine was pretty amusing and charming.
• A gorilla named Bing Bing – which was seemingly brought to life by a mix of bad CGI and an actor in an ape suit – played a big part during a significant scene in the pilot.  I was a bit disappointed she (he?) never appeared in the series again.  Come to think of it, there was no other circus animal featured.  And I never saw an official performance from the Wonder Circus.
• An element of the story which I hoped was further explored in detail was “Terry”, the third personality that came out when Robin was brought to the edge.  In connection, it was revealed that Ha-na isn’t the first girl that Seo-jin and Robin loved at the same time.  But these details merely had fleeting referencing, and didn’t have any substantial contribution to the plot.  Thus, in the end, it felt like a needless plot detail resulting from bad writing.
• I didn’t like the music at first, but it eventually grew on me.  “♪ Because of you… Because of you-uuuuuu…  ♪ lalalalalalalalalala… ♫ Because of you…. Now I can say, ‘I love you’…. ♫ Lalalala. ♪”
• Interesting note: MBC’s Kill Me, Heal Me – a Koreanovela that has a similar premise of a woman falling in love with someone that has multiple personalities – aired at the same time slot as Hyde, Jekyll, Me.  Intriguingly, according to what I read, the former is better than the latter.  Hmmm.  I might check it out.  Might.
• I welcome any recommendations on what Koreanovela I should try next.  Just take note that I’m looking for something that can recapture the magic of I Hear Your Voice. 

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'I Hear Your Voice' is the Koreanovela that Has Made Me Invested... and Swoon

“Koreanovelas” (Filipino term for TV drama series from South Korea) are never my thing.  Yes, there were times when some Koreanovelas would have some details or aspects that were able to stir my curiosity enough to make me catch some episodes.  But none really were capable of completely clinching my interest, turning any slight amount of fancy I had into total fandom. 

The closest one to do so was probably Lovers in Paris, most likely because it was the first Koreanovela that reached our shores (if I remember it correctly), gave me my first idea of Korean pop culture (“Aja!” is an expression I first learned here, and it’s an expression I like since then), thus, had the advantage of novelty; eventually, the plot succumbed to hackneyed soap opera tropes (which our typical Filipino drama series suffer from), obliterating any extent of liking I had on the show.

With what I’ve laid out above, one may understand why I consider I Hear Your Voice (also alternatively titled as I Can Hear Your Voice) as the greatest Koreanovela ever.  Because after Lovers in Paris, thousands of Koreanovelas have popped up through the years, and it’s only this time with I Hear Your Voice that I got to love a Koreanovela series and get to be completely invested on it.  Being compelled to write about it is already a very telling hint of how much this series made an impression on me.  For me, it’s the greatest product that has ever come out of the Republic of Korea since kimbap and the Black Eagle (not really from Korea.  But it’s the first thing that I ever liked about Korea.  See Red Alert 2 for the reference).

I Hear Your Voice tells the story of Park Soo-ha and Jang Hye-sung.  When Soo-ha was just nine years-old, he and his father were assaulted by Min Joon-gook, a man that had a grudge with his father.  The trauma mysteriously gave Soo-ha the ability to hear other’s thoughts once he gets a glance of their eyes.  Joon-gook killed his father, and he was about to kill Soo-ha too when 15-year old Hye-sung timely arrived on the scene to disrupt him. 

During the trial, the death of Soo-ha’s father was about to be dismissed as a mere traffic accident, which would had resulted to the acquittal of Min Joon-gook, when Hye-sung arrived to testify against him.  This ensured Joon-gook’s indictment and imprisonment, and he threatened to kill Hye-sung once he gets out of jail. 

Hye-sung’s bold decision to come and testify had a strong impact on Soo-ha.   He developed an infatuation on her and vowed to protect her from Joon-gook. 

Ten years later, Soo-ha, a high school senior, remained love-struck and had learned martial arts to carry on his promise of protecting her; while Hye-sung became a lawyer and had been recently hired to be a public defender.  After reading in a neswspaper of Hye-sung’s employment, Soo-ha was able to track down his first love.  The two got to meet again after a decade, and Soo-ha would find himself aiding Hye-sung in her cases with his mind-reading power.    

Meanwhile, coincidentally, Min Joon-gook, still vengeful and bitter, was released from jail… 

Such is the set-up in which this awesome tale started off from.   (Watch the series to see how the rest of the story goes.)  

   

The show’s initial run was from June to August 2013.  But it was only this year that it was viewed in Filipino television when a local network dubbed and aired it during weeknights (as I write it, it’s still ongoing).  I got caught of it while browsing channels one night (probably while I was watching replays of games from the 2014 FIBA World Cup).  I was charmed, watched a few episodes, got hooked and intrigued enough to search and buy a DVD of the complete series, watched its entirety, loved the series from start to finish, and then proceeded to re-watch most of the episodes.

What’s so special about I Hear Your Voice?  First, the refreshing and exceptional romance between Soo-ha and Hye-sung was a thrill.  Initially, I admit that I was first drawn to it because of having personally fallen in love with an older girl (*cough*), I found the romance relatable.  But it didn’t just end there.  As I was drawn more to the story, I found the romance to be actually fascinating by itself.  It wasn’t shallow, uninspired, and gratuitous.  It was slowly but pleasingly well-developed; it felt justified and earned.  It was appealing, distinctive, and wholesome.  Hence, I was able to find those scenes designed for romantic purposes a delight to watch. 

Heck, this show even made me swoon!  That’s what is most surprising of all.  It’s something unlikely of me.  I’m never a fan of romances, though I do get fascinated by unique, genuinely enjoyable romantic chemistry and tension between two wonderful characters.  There’s even no need for an actual romance to happen between them, as long as the tense attraction between them are there.  Some examples of such are the “speculative romance” of Jughead and Betty, Batman and Wonder Woman’s quasi-romance in the Justice League animated series, the uneasy attraction between Frank Hardy and Nancy Drew (whenever the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew team up), Sherlock Holmes’ “the Woman” esteem for Irene Adler, and back when Peter Parker (a.k.a. Spider-Man) and Carol Danvers (then still Ms. Marvel) started dating in the comics.  (That’s an idea.  I probably need to list my most favorite fictional couples.)      

     

But cases of fictional couples making me be actually thrilled by their romance are rare.  Disney’s Aladdin and Jasmine were the earliest, I think, and the “Eye of the Beholder” episode from the animated series was arguably its highest point.  The most memorable instance was in Cinderella Monogatari, the anime reinvention of the iconic fairy tale, but that was a long, long time ago (There might be other recent ones, but nothing comes to mind as I write this.)  And now there’s Park Soo-ha and Jang Hye-sung. 

 

Second, its premise that combined romantic comedy, court room drama, fantasy, and suspense – each aspect important in making the story terrific – was executed and utilized effectively.  Having such a lot of different genre elements happening around the show seem to be ripe for an untidy narrative, but the series pulled it off fantastically.  The plot remained coherent, well-paced, poised, and impeccably balanced of humor and tension. 

It’s not really perfect.  I still found dumb details that I can nitpick if I want to.  But they can be forgiven.  This is a show that has a character that can read minds after all, so a little more suspension of disbelief regarding coincidences and lazy details for the narrative to stick isn’t that hard for me to give.  The result is a delightful story after all.  I cut them some slack.  I have no complains.      

Third, there is profundity in its message as well.  Insightful themes like telling the truth, keeping promises, admitting faults and mistakes, not wasting one’s life by succumbing to hate and revenge, and maturing as a person are powerfully articulated by the story.      

Fourth, and most importantly, there were plenty of great character moments.  I’ve always been a big fan of strong fictional characters (that’s why I write plenty of lists on them), and this series had plenty of interesting, deep characters that developed well through the story.  

*Warning: some spoilers ahead!*

The main characters, Park Soo-ha and Jang Hye-sung, were able to learn a lot of things from each other and from all the people they’ve encountered throughout the story.  Their experiences definitely helped them become wiser, more mature, and stronger as individuals and as a couple. 

Min Joon-gook was a terrifying but pitiful villain.  Warped with hate and obsessed with revenge, he served as a perfect anti-thesis of Soo-ha.  Soo-ha would have turned out to be the same if he didn’t have Hye-sung.  So, Soo-ha might have probably vowed to protect Hye-sung, and probably was able to carry it out to an extent, but it was really Hye-sung who saved Soo-ha from succumbing into an empty, hateful life. 

Aside from Min Joon-gook, the most important secondary character is the charmingly geeky and idealistic Cha Gwan-woo.  He’s a former cop who became a lawyer (and Lawyer Jang’s colleague) and completes the “love triangle” between Soo-ha and Hye-sung.  He’s not at all like the disruptive, unwanted “third party” kind of character that is typical of a “love triangle” romance.  He’s actually a great, noble character from whom both Soo-ha and Hye-sung gained a lot of wisdom from.  Though understandably infuriated of him at first (for being a rival who is deserving of Hye-sung more than him), Soo-ha would eventually consider Lawyer Cha as a better man and the person that helped him the most in maturing into an adult, worthy of Hye-sung’s love.  

Other notable characters in the series are Seo Do-yeon, Hye-sung’s high school adversary whose accusations led to the latter’s expulsion in high school, and then grew up to become a prosecutor and Hye-sung’s rival on the court; Lawyer Shin, a veteran public defender who is a mentor for Lawyer Cha and Lawyer Jang; Judge Kim, the judge constantly presiding the cases and always exasperated by Lawyer Jang; Go Sung-Bin and Kim Choong-ki, Soo-ha’s classmates and whose constant bickering is a source of constant amusement for us watching; and Eo Choon-shim, Hye-sung’s mother.    These characters all have key moments and worthwhile developments to follow in the show. 

All of these – romance, plot, themes, and characters – make I Hear Your Voice a fun, exhilarating ride with a fantastic finish.  I was happily satisfied by how the story carried on and concluded.  Its ending, especially, was an extremely satisfactory and empathic wrap-up, but still left some sadness for I would no longer know what will happen next to the characters’ stories that I got to be so invested in. 

For me, I Hear Your Voice is something like how a certain gentleman valued Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn.  This gentleman went to Mark Twain and told the author he wished he didn’t read Mark Twain, and was willing give a hundred dollars for it to be so.  His reason?  So he could have again the pleasure of reading Huckleberry Finn for the first time.

  

Really.  I found it astonishing that I found myself wishing I haven’t seen the series yet, so I can have the pleasure of watching it for the first time.  I Can Hear Your Voice is that awesome.             

Some assorted musings:

• Wow.  I wrote a long one.   Again, I guess I just really, really like this show.  And I am still completely baffled why I do.  Maybe my taste is changing as I grow older?  Hmmmm.      
• Hye-sung is six years older than Soo-ha.  In real life, Lee Bo-young and Lee Jong-suk, the actors who played them, actually have an age gap of ten years.  Fun trivia.
• Lawyer Shin makes some of the most hilarious facial expressions ever. 
• Out of its 18 episodes, my most favorite one is probably Episode 14.
• One creative thing about this show is each episode title is from a featured title or line from a song.  “Echo” (the theme song) and “Why Did You Come Now?” are the show’s best songs.  They’re in my current playlist.  I probably liked them only because they were of the show. 
• Fun chemistry was happening between Lawyer Cha and Prosecutor Seo during the last episode.  Too bad there was no real hint on where it would be going.       
• If Harry Potter’s epilogue is the worst ever, I Hear Your Voice has one of the best ever. 
• I think this is even the first time I even used the word “swoon” in a blog post.  /shaking my head.

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Love... And the Related Topics Part 2

More than half a decade ago, I tried to summarize all my thoughts about love and its offshoot issues in one comprehensive essay.  I was a sixteen year-old back then and those were a sixteen year-old’s thoughts.  Now, I am a young adult and have a more organized – if not better – perspective on this subject matter than my teenage self.  So, I decided to write this “updated” essay, to add more to the original essay or to revise or improve some of its contents.  Here goes nothin’…  

Is love easily analyzed or defined?  No.  I don’t think so.  In fact, love is something so complex.  Our viewpoint on love varies, depending on our own unique individual encounters and experiences.  It has different facets.  It is more than an emotion.   More than a concept.  And there might be something more in the saying “Love makes the world go around” than a cliché. 

Let me first try to define or conceptualized “Love” in its purest and truest form.  And it’s God.  God is Love.  Not only is God loving, but God himself is Love.  The truest and purest form of Love is found in God’s nature and nowhere else.  And since it is impossible to fully comprehend God’s nature in our lifetime and present mental capabilities, then it is therefore impossible to fully comprehend what Love really is.  Only God knows. And only God can really love purely and truly.    

As humans, we are created in God’s image.  Thus, as creatures created in God’s image, we might be able to wield some of his qualities… or, rather, to wield POOR IMITATIONS of God’s qualities.  God loves, and we humans also love.  We have some idea of what love is, but considerably fall short on the concept of God’s Love.  Nonetheless, as humans, we love, in our own limited and flawed ways.  We have different forms of “love”.  Affection to others.  As comrades loyally and passionately having each other’s backs (philia or brotherly love).  The concept of lovers (eros or romantic/sexual love).  Parents’ love for their children, and vice versa.  Several form and complicated hybrids of these forms, and within these forms, different and indescribable intensities.  You can never perfectly diagram these facets of human love.  In some ways, these forms of human love have some ingredients of nobility that gives us an idea on how God’s love might function.  People willing to sacrifice even their lives for their friends or families.  Parents lavishing their children with love even if they’re ungrateful and selfish brats.  A lover’s readiness to give up his own happiness for the best or for the happiness of the person he or she loves.  Etc.  However, human love will always be imperfect.  Human love is conditional.  It is limited.  And it always expects something in return. 

God is Love.  He is the only one that has perfect idea on what Love is, since it is who He is.  And He is the only one that can wield in perfectly. 

God’s love is unconditional – no, let me correct that – God’s love is certainly conditional… but He was the one who fulfilled those conditions so that we can enjoy the experience and benefits of His love .  His love is more than unconditional. 

When a human loves, it is always limited to his capabilities and strength.  Though he might want to give the most expensive gift to his loved one, but he won’t be able to do so if he can’t afford it.  He might desire to be beside his beloved always, but it is impossible for him to have his eyes on his beloved 24/7.  His weakness limits him to perfectly protect his beloved.  However, God’s omnipotence and sovereignty assures that His love can’t be limited.  Nothing or no one can frustrate His love.  If He wants to give someone He loves a particular gift, He is able to give it.  He is able to be by His beloved’s side always.  And His protection is absolutely perfect.   

With God’s love being unconditional, He does not need anything in return.  We have nothing to give in return for His love anyway.  Love God back or not, God will remain as He is.  Though, whoever God gives his love to, he or she can’t help but to love God back. 

And only those that saw and experienced God’s love can truly wield love… or, at least, as close as a human can on truly wielding love (since, again, only God can truly love).  God’s love has never been more expressed when His only Son was incarnated in this world.  The Latter brought and taught outlandish concepts such as “loving your enemies” and “turning the other cheek.”  And then He was humiliated, tortured, and crucified on the cross.  All that He endured out of love.  To save His children from Hell, He had undergone Hell for himself.  So, that they can reconcile with His Father and to enjoy experiencing being Truly Beloved.  Take note that He is not obliged to do it.  His being God will not be lessened if He didn’t do it or be increased if He did.  He just did it out of love.  

Those people who Jesus died for – people who encountered and received what True Love is – will have their hearts filled with love and gratitude to God, ready to do anything for Him.  They would be enabled to carry on the outlandish concepts he taught like “loving your enemies” and “turning the other cheek”, because they love God and want to please him and because God’s own love itself is overflowing through them.  Again, only those that have been Truly Loved can truly love.  To love the unlovable.  To wield the kind of love that the Apostle Paul wrote in the famous Love Chapter (1 Corinthians 13 to those who are not aware of their Bible).  It’s not as perfect as God’s, but it’s the closest thing we humans are able to truly love.

Human love per se in all its forms – romantic, brotherly, parental, etc. – are flawed and, in a sense, selfish.  But combined with this God-given Love, only then they become special. 

Now from this point, let me concentrate on humans’ – or, at least, the recent generations’ – most favorite kind of love (thanks largely to Shakespeare and pop culture): romantic love (eros).  Why is it the most favorite?  Maybe because it is the most fun.  And also most natural, since human physiology is a main reason of its being.  God created us to be attracted to the opposite sex, and our biological make-up ensures that we do.  So romantic feelings are mostly because of chemicals pumped by the body.  Is it more than that?  The answer is a complicated “Yes” and “No.” 

Let’s look at the “No” aspect first.  I had already argued in a past essay that romantic love is the same all over – different types of attraction, different intensities, but same emotions.  Emotions that are mostly triggered because of the God-designed bodily chemicals.  And when the chemicals wear off, the emotional high also wears off.  So, at this sense, romantic love is nothing more than God-designed bodily chemicals. 

It gets complicated because of the “Yes” aspect.    As I’ve mentioned in the past paragraph, these emotions (of romantic love) are mostly triggered by chemicals.  BUT these chemicals are (definitely) triggered by external stimuli.  Usually, we “fall in love” because several factors or conditions are favorable in a “butterfly effect” (review your Chaos Theory if you are unfamiliar with the term) way rather than the person per se – though, he or she is of course a major factor, but just not the sole factor.  Given a favorable person in a favorable setting in a favorable time in a favorable circumstance (and other favorable applicable variables),  getting attracted or “falling in love” happens.  And when the conditions become unfavorable – i.e. long-distance, revelation of dark secrets, external (outside of the two parties) variables, found someone better, etc. - we “fall out of love.”  Emotional high wears off.  Romantic love all depends on how fast and hard the chemicals that make us “fall in love” can be stimulated by the conditions or external stimuli, and how long the conditions or external stimuli can sustain the emotional high.  E.g. a girl might have “fallen in love” with a boy, because he came as a “knight in shining armor” during the loneliest part of her life.  That’s why we “fall in love” and “fall out of love” a few or several times in our lives (until we fall in love for final time, but I am getting ahead of myself).  And the intensities on each time are different, depending on the variables present.  E.g. a boy might have “fallen in love” with a girl, but due to their young age, the intensity is mere infatuation.  Yup, romantic love occurs and has different intensities due to complex sets of conditions.

I am not saying that there is no such thing as “One True Love” or soulmate or Mr. Right or Ms. Right.  Indeed, I believe that God destines two people to be together.  It happens not only because of favorable conditions that make them “fall in love”, but because of PERFECT conditions.  And since it is perfect, there will be no emergence of “unfavorable conditions” (even if it appears to be as such) that would make them “fall out of love”.  Perfect person in a perfect setting in a perfect time in a perfect circumstance – made possible because of the Master Matchmaker.  The intensity of this romantic love would lead to marriage.

As much as one can, fight the feeling of romantic love, never yield to it.  Since if it’s true or too strong anyway, it will break through in the end; it will overflow from the heart.  People who allow themselves to “fall in love” easily, who rush into their decisions, become “romantic love junkies”, people who actually “fall in love with falling in love” rather than “falling in love with someone.”  They “fall in love” just for the sake of “falling in love”.  They rush to “fall in love”.  Since it is rushed, it is likely that the conditions will become unfavorable, and when they do, these people get their heart broken.  To fill the pain, they would be in a rush to “fall in love” again.  And will get their heart broken again.  And so on.  Junkies indeed.  So sad.   “There are many people who believe in serial love, loving one person after another,” as Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago (the most entertaining senator in Philippine history) mused, “I don’t think it is good for our mental health.” 

I always believe that when you get your heart broken, you have nobody to blame but yourself since it is you who allowed yourself to fall in love.  So as much as one can, fight the feeling and never yield until the feeling breaks through.  At least, by that, when you indeed fall in love with someone, you can be sure that you fell in love hard, that you can’t help it now but to go all in, risking even heartbreak, since, as a favorite quote of mine goes, “[Falling in] love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.” 

   

When that time comes – a time when you are willing to risk it all – you would see every girl (or boy, if the reader is a girl) paling in comparison to her (or him).  You would feel uncomfortably incomplete without her.  You would be oblivious to the rest of the world when you’re with her.  You don’t care about anything anymore but to be with her.  There will be nothing or nobody else better or more important.  This type of falling in love is what Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago means when she said, “It’s like measles, you know.  You only get it once in your lifetime and you are immune forever.”   This is falling in love for the final time… the good kind of falling in love since it is true.

This usually leads to marriage.  I used to roll my eyes on marriage.  That’s when I knew nothing better.  Then I learned that in marriage is where human love as a lens to have a glimpse on God’s love is at its best.  With the passage in Ephesians 5:25-30 (read it if you aren’t familiar with it.  It’s just beautiful), we can see how marriage was used as an analogy – the most perfect analogy possible – for Christ’s own love for His Bride (the Church).  Before, since I was a kid, I never thought of myself as someone that would eventually marry.  Maybe it was a possibility that I would, but I never entertained the thought.  “I will never marry.  It is more advantageous to be a bachelor,” were my usual words.  But after really seeing how special marriage can really be, now, maybe for the first time in my life, I start to really like getting married someday.  To have someone hand-in-hand in the journey for True Happiness that is only found in Him.  To live out the analogy that would make me feel and appreciate greatly the greatness of God’s love. 

But I also believe that you don’t need to romantically fall in love to get married.  Some couples even fall in love only when they’re already married; learning to love each other after getting married.  Romantically falling in love before marrying is a convenience of modern times that the majority enjoys.  Historically, marriage is not always because of so.  Marriages get prearranged.  There were times that a couple would see each other for the first time on the wedding day itself.  But these marriages, surprisingly, work.  Ironically, more often than not nowadays, those however that married because solely of romantic feelings have marriages that aren’t successful.  Mostly because these marriages are selfish and not God-centered.  But, I believe, that even without romantic love, a marriage will be successful if there is the kind of love Christianity has (which I already talked about many paragraphs ago) in it.  At some point of the marriage, the “favorable conditions” that brought the couple to “fall in love” might even disappear.  But the marriage will be sustained because of the Christian love they have for God and each other.  But, of course, the best marriages are those that have both the high of romantic love AND the God-centeredness of Christian love.  And we have to be thankful that falling in love before marrying is of fashion nowadays instead of prearranged marriage.  I, for one, am thankful for such convenience.        

I still can’t talk much about marriage because I am yet to experience.  So I leave it at that.

In fact, I think I’ll leave this essay at this.  This “upgraded” essay on “Love... and the Related Topics” is long enough already.  A Part 3 might be written in another half a decade – give or take a few years.  Maybe I would have more ideas or understanding about the topic at hand by that time.  Who knows, I might even be married already at that point. 

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"Valentines? Bah, Humbug!"

I was a Valentines Scrooge for years.  As far as a season for celebrating love (that possesses pagan origins in its traditions and a commercialized frame) is concerned, I pick Christmas over Valentines.  Indeed, since it celebrates the birth of the Greatest Lover in History, Christmas is, then, the true season for celebrating love.  What do we need Valentines for?  It pales in comparison with Christmas as a season of love and as a celebration overall.  Valentines actually does not celebrate the noble essence of love per se, but it actually centralizes on romance.  Yup, just romance.  Love can be romantic, but romance does not always translate to love at all.  Romance is an illusion.  It does make us feel good, but, usually, it’s not because of love.  It’s because of the high that romance gives us.  Therefore, I was never into Valentines because it overrates romance (how redundant is this statement?) and does not really deal much with love.  You want to celebrate love in its true spirit?  Do it on Christmas, or better yet, throughout the year.

I still stand on of what I have said above.  But, this year, I get to, at least, appreciate the Valentines spirit.  

No, I was not bitter before.  I was just not into Valentines.  In fact, same as the previous years, I also had no Valentines date this year.  But this year… well, I was in a state of “being in love” when February 14 hit.     

In love?  Really?  Let’s do a checklist… Am I exhilarated with her company?  Check.  Do I easily miss her even if I have just seen her earlier in the day?  Check.  Do her gaze and smile bedazzled me?  Check.  Does she make my heart beat in a way that it nearly requires for a crash cart?  Check.  Yes, it’s definitely textbook definition of “falling in love”.  That or it’s borderline sociopathic obsession.  Then again, those two are the same anyway, right? 

Seriously speaking though, as far as emotions go, I am definitely in love.  This is something nobody expected.  I never planned for this.  It was a bombshell for me, for her, and for everybody around us.  We have known each other for some time, but I never noticed that she is such an awesome individual.  Just recently, all of a sudden, I saw how wonderful, stunning, and lovely she really is.      

       

Is it “true love”?   Hmmm, I don’t know yet.  Do I believe in “true love”?  If “true love” means the “One” that has been prepared or destined by God to be one’s partner for life, then I do.  But to really determine if what I have now is “true love” is hard.  As far as feelings are concerned, I believe that the way you feel for “true love” is just the same as any romantic feeling there is since the emotions brought by being in love are all dependent on chemicals, like PEA, that are released by the body to bring such feelings.  So in a physiological sense, all types of “falling in love” – whether it’s true love, teenage love, puppy love, or mere infatuation – give the same kinds of emotions, maybe in different degrees or intensity, but the same kinds of emotions nonetheless.  The body will not release a previously dormant special chemical or trigger a special mental function to give you a “special feeling” when “true love” comes.   No, emotions for “falling in love” are uniform in all kinds.  Therefore, relying merely on emotions is not a true determinant for “true love”, there is no such “special feeling” for “true love”.   

How can “true love” be truly verified then if emotions are unreliable?  Well, since it is God who destines it, then it is God who reveals it in his perfect time.  I am still not sure how that will come about, but I am sure that’s how it works.   So until that God-set perfect time arrives that will make one truly absolutely sure, then it is best to wait… and wait… and wait… and more waiting.  And lots of fervent praying comes to play as well.  And those people who rash into things (i.e. relationships) regret it in the end.       

So, I may not yet know if it’s “true love” – if she is the “One” that God has prepared for me.  However, there is nothing wrong in honestly stating what I feel right now since it’s a reality.  I am in love (again, basing on emotions).  Very much in love. But my love is limited as a human love can be at this point.  A love that, sometimes, still wishes to be returned.  A love that I can’t enforce yet.  A love that still gets hurt.  A love that can’t assure the future (since I can’t see the future); taking into consideration the fact that romantic feelings do change in time. 

But, nonetheless, state it as it is… fact: I am in love.  I love her.  And she loves me.  Fortunately, she agrees with my own ideals and sentiments (which I had already stated above).  That’s why we decided to don’t hurry.  We wait (and wait and wait).  And pray (and pray and pray).  To have no commitments to each other and to not close doors.  To have no expectations.  To put our full hope in God and not on each other.  To continue to seek God’s will in our lives.  And, until then, we build and enjoy our friendship.   And I really appreciate and am really thankful for this friendship… and for her.       

And, oh, for the record, indeed, I haven’t had any Valentines date this year… but I did enjoy a post-Valentines date.

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Love And Romance... Almost Everywhere

Hmmm. I don’t understand why love and romance are almost everywhere. Really they are.

First, in stories in literature and movies. Sure there are novels and flicks that have romance all that stuff as the main concept (love stories). But look at other kinds of stories as well; love and romance are still sub-plots or sub-themes of it. In action, fantasy, mystery, suspense, thriller, comedy… whatever, why do there are often some romantic themes in them? Like, the main character in action or comedy often have a leading lady (or leading man), or the genre is suspense but still you can find a romantic theme there somewhere, or the hero of a fantasy should rescue a damsel in distress… and things like that that have romantic flavor in stories. Read a book or watch a movie, doesn’t matter what kind, chances are there is some romantic part in it. Heck, even in the comic books, Superman has Lois Lane.

And also on those TV shows. Doesn’t matter if it is a soap (which often have the same dosage of romance as much as drama in them) or something like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville, Charmed, X-Files, Star Trek or anything, there are romantic them in each of them somewhere. And you can also find it on cartoons and other animations, from Japanese animes to Disney shows, love and romance are still there. Tamahome has Miaka, and Mickey Mouse has a Minnie Mouse. And even though there’s a big difference between Armitage and Kim Possible (though both of the main characters are female)… yup, there’re still romantic themes in them.

There, love and romance are in literature, movies and TV shows, even if the story is not about love at all, you’ll still find some romantic parts in them.

And it doesn’t en with stories. It’s in music, too. Most songs have themes like love, romance, heartbreak, courtship, or anything of that’s sort. See? Love and romantic themes are even in music. Love is a popular theme with songwriter. Even hardcore rock bands sing songs about love or anything related to it. Some even spent their entire music careers to sing only about love (ever heard of an Air Supply song with no love theme in it?). Wipe out love and romance out of the music scene and you also wipe out a very large percentage of all known songs in human history (all Air Supply songs will be wiped out, and Cueshe has nothing to sing about).

Love and Romance are all around us nowadays, from media to airwaves. IT only proves how much people are interested in these themes. With all these different ideas and concepts about love from music, literature and entertainment, makes me wonder of humans still knows what true love is all about.

Mmmm. All these stuff about love and romance are okay sometimes, I guess. It gives some thrills and sparks – not only to stories – but also to our lives. I just hope that all this will not distort the true meaning of love.
The danger of it all is with all this concepts about love and romance everywhere, our generation will jump into relationships (or will want to jump) without thinking; with no patience, understanding, and evaluation of emotions, and with this in mind, “Heck, even Mr. Bean and Donald Duck have girlfriends, why shouldn’t I have one?” Pity.

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BREAKUP... BROKENHEARTED... BREAKING DOWN...

Brokenhearted
That is my state today
My girlfriend, my high school sweetheart, broke up with me
I was a bit ready for it, but it was still painful
I love her so much
Yes, I was prepared to let her go if that's the best
And I have to let her go
But it's painful
It was like seeing the Los Angeles Lakers lose
Only a hundred times more painful (that's the best description I can give)
It's my first time to be brokenhearted
And I find it really painful
Hellishly painful

I call her the "Luv Of My Lyf"
She's beautiful
Her character matches her beauty
Has a good heart
Talented
Intelligent
But most of all, I love her'
And that what really matters
I love her for what she is

She was sorry it had to happen (me too!)
But I guess she's right to prioritize many important things and let go of me
At least, she was honest
And although she is gone, as a lover…
She's still my friend - I'm still glad of that

It's both joyful and sad when I think about the bittersweet memories we shared
I'll always love the dances we shared
The times we're together…
Especially when we go home from school
It was fun to be with her
All about her was fun
Now it's over

As to date, this is the lowest point of my life
Yes, I still have my happy and carefree nature (Thank God!)
But there's loneliness and pain in my heart
And melancholy and depression comes once in a while
I'm glad I still find sources of comfort
To be thankful and happy
Reading literature and playing music lifts my spirit when I am down
But the pain was too much…
It's been days after the breakup before I could pick up my guitar or read a book
I'm glad I can do those things now - takes a bit of the pain away
Food helps, too. Food is always there when you need it
Entertainment - yeah - will do, too
TV, PC, movies, Internet, games, jokes, fun… good things that makes you forget
And I can turn to drawing… to practice to draw again… to learn…
Writing is always good as well as therapeutic… that's what I'm doing now
And other hobbies and interest of mine might help
Might take some of the pain away… or make me forget for a while

But I'm thankful… thankful for many things
That I got the chance to meet her
That she got to be once mine, and I hers
The memories
The happiness
The inspirations and motivations
The love
I'm thankful she came into my life

I am confused why it should happen
I guess God knows best
His plan is perfect
This may look bad now… I may be down now…
But I believe the future is bright
It was God's promise
Yes, it's going to be a long time before I can recover…
Before my heart will mend
Before the pain and loneliness will disappear
Before all will be forgotten
A long time…
But I know Best Friend JC is with me… to comfort me
The Man Upstairs is looking after me
And the Holy Ghost will guide me
With Him… I put my trust…
I surrender all my worries to him… now I surrender this heartbreak to Him
The Big Guy will get me through

And as I pray each night since my girlfriend and I broke up:

Lord,
I am thankful for letting me meet her
And for the love between us
It was good while it lasted
Now she's gone
I do not know why it should happen
I do not really understand
Maybe, I was so in love with her that she was beginning to be an "idol"
And I love her more than I should love you
Maybe that's why you took her away from me
(If that is the case, I am sorry, God…)
I do not know the true reason, but I put my trust in You
That You know what is the best for us
I do not know what will happen from now
I am still confused and brokenhearted
Help me to get through this heartbreak
Please, ease the pain
I might not be his boyfriend anymore, and she not anymore my girlfriend…
But she is Your daughter
And I pray You will always be with her
To guide and comfort her
Please give her the True Happiness and the True Love that you - not I - can only give
I still love her, God…
If this is a "true" one, help me to hang on
And help me to be a good friend to her
I trust in You to take care of this
I surrender this matter in Your hands
In the name of Jesus Christ, the true Author of True Love…
Amen.

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Love... And the Related Topics

Love. I may be a person who does not talk about this kind of topics. But hey, I can talk about love. I had experienced it. I received and gave it so many times. Let me first tell you about my view on love. The greatest example of true love is what Jesus did. Leaving His position to save His chosen ones. He was willing to sacrifice everything even His life.
True love for me is loving a person for who he or she is. Accepting his or her weaknesses and that it is unconditional. Saying I love you is not like "I love you because....", "I love you if...." or "I love you but...." but saying I love you is like "I love you." Period. As I've said before, unconditional.
"If you haven't experience love, then how can you give it." One of my father's best sermon, for me, is his sermon on love. You can not give what you do not have. That is what he said in his sermon. Just like love, you can not love if you haven't been loved. What can be more greater than God's love? That is true love. If you haven't experienced it then you cannot completely love. And you cannot give more than the love you experienced but rather maybe you will give less than what you experienced. You must feel love first, one way or another.
As I Corinthians 13:4-7 said "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". I love these verses. It gives the true meaning of love. It tells what are the fruits of love. Compare this verse to what you feel. See if you really love somebody. Your family. Your parents. Your siblings. Your friends. That special someone.
How about love on the opposite sex? Yeah, I love my female friends. But love is different from falling in love. In Filipino, "Pagmamahal" is different from "Pag-ibig". You ask me.... did I ever fell in love with someone. My answer is maybe. I am not so sure. I have "fallen in love" two times already. I do not know if it is real. In this early stage you will never know if it is real. That is why you must wait before making a big move. Do not make any conclusions yet. Time may come when you will be sure if it is true love. Maybe what you are feeling now is not really true love, but it may become true love if you wait.
Is it okay to have a girlfriend or boyfriend? Well, it depends. For me, it is okay. But who am I to decide. Ask your parents. For me, it is okay. As long as you love that person and that your relationship is God-centered. Maybe that love will grow. Maybe not. But hey, as long as you will not commit sin there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you will not neglect your responsibilities, obligations and priorities it is okay. Your girlfriend or boyfriend should serve only as your inspiration and strength. He or she must not become a liability. The only disadvantage of it is discovering you are not for each other. It may cause a lot of heartbreak. My advice is not to limit yourself to one person. Meet other persons. If you find a person that you think you are in love to, wait and do not make moves yet. Just make actions that shows she (or he) is special than the others. Yes, waiting is hard. But love is patient and persevering. If the time is right, tell your feelings and make the move. Waiting is important. The longer, the better (but not that long :) ). Both parties should know that. It's a test if you are really in love or it is mere infatuation. But having a girlfriend or boyfriend is up to your beloved parents. They know best. If they say, "No!" then obey them. If they say you have to break up with him or her, obey them. It may be hard, but it pays off to obey. Its all up to your parents. Show them you can obey them and be responsible. Show them you love them too and willing to obey. Maybe they will understand that you are really capable of loving. And of course, pray for it. Ask God for His will to happen. God may want you to have a relationship now or not yet. Just and pray for guidance. It will surely pay off.
Waiting is part of love. You wait to get to know the person very well. You wait to get close to a person. You wait for the right time to tell your feelings. You wait when you are waiting for the girl's answer. Or if you are a girl, waiting for the right time to give the answer. Love is patient. A person in love do not rush things. He or she waits for God's timing. Believe me, waiting pays off. It gives you more confidence. It gives you time to know the person you love more. It gives you time to think if you are really in love. God gives the perfect timing, believe me. He wants the perfect person for you. A lot deal better than the girl (or boy) of your dreams. So, wait and wait. Especially when you haven't fallen in love before. Do not rush it. God gives the best timing. Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, it said there is time for everything.
I say that teenage love is a gift from God. Making you experience having crushes, infatuation, "puppy love" and the like. You may have experienced this and also being hurt. I had experienced it, too. But, thank God, I still have not experienced being heart broken. I am not really good in this love matters. I am just telling you what I think in this subject. We may have different views on love.
An advice to guys, you must realize that you proboably won't marry your girlfriend or the girl you like, so you'd better treat her the way you would want a guy to treat the girl you will marry. I do not mean you should treat her as if you two are married. But show her respect, care and love. And never let your hormones get the better of you. You are stronger than the girl. Use your strength to protect the girl not to harm or pressure her (you know what I mean). To girls I advice that if you like a guy, please give hints (if you can't directly say it) that he is special than everybody else. And never seduce your boyfriend or the boy you like. Also never abuse the boy's patience or generosity. If both parties will do their part, it will be a great relationship.
A few parting words, facts that I learned in real life. A boy will not make a move if he will not see a sign of hope from the girl. Most girls looked their startling best and boys will become handsomer in the JS Prom. A person in love never can supress his or her smile and has glittering eyes. Flowers (I recommend white roses) are better things to give than chocolates. Being "torpe" is not that bad. The cellphone can become a handy gadget in communicating with someone you find hard to talk to. You will learn this and more when you are in the teenage love stage. Have a nice day!

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