Hedonist's Desire

In my life…

I want to get a lot of things…

I want to experience a lot of things…

I want to enjoy a lot of things…

But even if I get them, I know I will desire upgrades of these wants

Still going to lack satisfaction

All things will pass…

Any pleasure in this world is temporary

Thus, I long for the day I would finally see You face to face

My heart bursting with complete ecstasy of joy and love forever and ever

Until that day, throughout my life, like St. Augustine, I say…

My heart is restless until I find my rest in Thee

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"Valentines? Bah, Humbug!"

I was a Valentines Scrooge for years.  As far as a season for celebrating love (that possesses pagan origins in its traditions and a commercialized frame) is concerned, I pick Christmas over Valentines.  Indeed, since it celebrates the birth of the Greatest Lover in History, Christmas is, then, the true season for celebrating love.  What do we need Valentines for?  It pales in comparison with Christmas as a season of love and as a celebration overall.  Valentines actually does not celebrate the noble essence of love per se, but it actually centralizes on romance.  Yup, just romance.  Love can be romantic, but romance does not always translate to love at all.  Romance is an illusion.  It does make us feel good, but, usually, it’s not because of love.  It’s because of the high that romance gives us.  Therefore, I was never into Valentines because it overrates romance (how redundant is this statement?) and does not really deal much with love.  You want to celebrate love in its true spirit?  Do it on Christmas, or better yet, throughout the year.

I still stand on of what I have said above.  But, this year, I get to, at least, appreciate the Valentines spirit.  

No, I was not bitter before.  I was just not into Valentines.  In fact, same as the previous years, I also had no Valentines date this year.  But this year… well, I was in a state of “being in love” when February 14 hit.     

In love?  Really?  Let’s do a checklist… Am I exhilarated with her company?  Check.  Do I easily miss her even if I have just seen her earlier in the day?  Check.  Do her gaze and smile bedazzled me?  Check.  Does she make my heart beat in a way that it nearly requires for a crash cart?  Check.  Yes, it’s definitely textbook definition of “falling in love”.  That or it’s borderline sociopathic obsession.  Then again, those two are the same anyway, right? 

Seriously speaking though, as far as emotions go, I am definitely in love.  This is something nobody expected.  I never planned for this.  It was a bombshell for me, for her, and for everybody around us.  We have known each other for some time, but I never noticed that she is such an awesome individual.  Just recently, all of a sudden, I saw how wonderful, stunning, and lovely she really is.      

       

Is it “true love”?   Hmmm, I don’t know yet.  Do I believe in “true love”?  If “true love” means the “One” that has been prepared or destined by God to be one’s partner for life, then I do.  But to really determine if what I have now is “true love” is hard.  As far as feelings are concerned, I believe that the way you feel for “true love” is just the same as any romantic feeling there is since the emotions brought by being in love are all dependent on chemicals, like PEA, that are released by the body to bring such feelings.  So in a physiological sense, all types of “falling in love” – whether it’s true love, teenage love, puppy love, or mere infatuation – give the same kinds of emotions, maybe in different degrees or intensity, but the same kinds of emotions nonetheless.  The body will not release a previously dormant special chemical or trigger a special mental function to give you a “special feeling” when “true love” comes.   No, emotions for “falling in love” are uniform in all kinds.  Therefore, relying merely on emotions is not a true determinant for “true love”, there is no such “special feeling” for “true love”.   

How can “true love” be truly verified then if emotions are unreliable?  Well, since it is God who destines it, then it is God who reveals it in his perfect time.  I am still not sure how that will come about, but I am sure that’s how it works.   So until that God-set perfect time arrives that will make one truly absolutely sure, then it is best to wait… and wait… and wait… and more waiting.  And lots of fervent praying comes to play as well.  And those people who rash into things (i.e. relationships) regret it in the end.       

So, I may not yet know if it’s “true love” – if she is the “One” that God has prepared for me.  However, there is nothing wrong in honestly stating what I feel right now since it’s a reality.  I am in love (again, basing on emotions).  Very much in love. But my love is limited as a human love can be at this point.  A love that, sometimes, still wishes to be returned.  A love that I can’t enforce yet.  A love that still gets hurt.  A love that can’t assure the future (since I can’t see the future); taking into consideration the fact that romantic feelings do change in time. 

But, nonetheless, state it as it is… fact: I am in love.  I love her.  And she loves me.  Fortunately, she agrees with my own ideals and sentiments (which I had already stated above).  That’s why we decided to don’t hurry.  We wait (and wait and wait).  And pray (and pray and pray).  To have no commitments to each other and to not close doors.  To have no expectations.  To put our full hope in God and not on each other.  To continue to seek God’s will in our lives.  And, until then, we build and enjoy our friendship.   And I really appreciate and am really thankful for this friendship… and for her.       

And, oh, for the record, indeed, I haven’t had any Valentines date this year… but I did enjoy a post-Valentines date.

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Top 10 Anime Series

Anime has made a big impact to our pop culture.  It charmed the generation I belong in and it continues to charm the generation after mine.  I assume that all of you know what anime is and I don’t need to define it or give some background. So, let’s go down to business.  My top ten:

10.) DRAGONBALL Z

A top ten anime list will never be complete without the immortal Dragonball Z (let’s just pretend that Dragonball and Dragonball GT do not exist, okay?).  I liked DBZ, but not to the extent that I really became a die-hard fan.  Yes, the series entertained me much, but, seriously, it’s kind of ridiculous.  Characters are too powerful.  The plot is so annoyingly slow-paced sometimes – heck, an entire episode can go on with just the two combatants staring at each other.  There are times that the story would be predictable (i.e. Goku will be resurrected again by the Dragonballs after being killed for the nth time). 

But it does have its moments of epicness and badassery (in fact, a lot of it).  Moreover, it’s probably the most popular anime in the world, so it at least gets my number 10 spot.

9.) CINDERELLA MONOGATARI

Ah.  I really love this when I was a kid.  The greatest reinvention of the Cinderella fairy tale.  This is what I wrote some time ago about Leonard (the prince) and Cinderella:

With no "love at first sight at the Ball" nonsense, they started as friends and had their bond strengthened by several adventures together, which ultimately blossomed romantically in that Ball.

Each episode was refreshing to watch because of this.  

8.) VANDREAD

I love the premise of “Vandread.”  In the far future, space has been colonized by humanity.  But during this time, in a specific system, the battle of the sexes become literal as males and females are alienated and at cold war with each other.    A crew of female pirates attacks and takes over a male battleship, and takes three male prisoners.  Then the living core of the ship fuses the male ship with the pirate crew’s own ship to form a hipper but mysterious ship which is later named “Nirvana”.  Nirvana suddenly warped far away in distant space.  Aside from the ship, the Vanguard (a male-designed humanoid robot) that was in the male ship and three Dreads (female-designed fighter spaceplanes) of the pirates are also changed as well that enable them to combine into a Vandread mecha (thus, the title).   In their journey to go back home, the males and females in “Nirvana” learn to co-exist.  The experience planted the hope of men and women possibly living together again.  And, oh, they also have to fight human-harvesting AI machines along their way back (and to warn their people – men and women – about the incoming danger)…  

7.) ONE PIECE

I was hesitant to include animes that are still ongoing since I won’t be able to evaluate it in its entirety.

I had considered adding “Naruto” and “Bleach”, but though I love these two for years already, I still think it’s too early to add them to this list.  Especially with “Bleach”.  I really considered it because it contains mindblowing twists and has some of the best action you can find in anime.  But it also has annoyingly long irrelevant arcs that are not related to the main story, which put it out of discussion.  

One Piece, however, deserves to be in this top 10.  Among the “Big 3” – hottest manga/animes today – composed of “Naruto”, “Bleach”, and “One Piece”, “One Piece” is the best.  Characters and storylines are interestingly conceptualized, and filled with humor and action and adventure that will never tire the fans.  Obviously, its ranking will definitely rise in a future list.  

6.) DORAEMON

A robot cat from the future that aids an elementary boy in his daily struggles (e.g. school, girls, bullies,etc.) by loaning him farfetched gadgets?  A sure winning formula for comedic scenarios.  And this show effectively delivered just that.  

5.) SLAM DUNK

This anime was one of the reasons I started to get interested in basketball.  The Shohoku High team is the centerpiece of this anime, detailing its journey from a non-playoff "one-man" team to one of the elite teams of their district.  I really love how the action and excitement of the basketball court was translated by this series.  It’s just a bummer that the national tournament never made it to the anime.

4.) YU YU HAKUSHU

This is the anime that got me interested in anime as we know of today.  Yu-yu Hakushu – or “Ghost Fighter” as it is known in these parts – was my favorite anime back then.  It has excellent characters, action, and storylines – a formula that future anime series would emulate.  Others had perfected that formula since then, but Yu Yu Hakushu is the first of its brand of anime.

3,) GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI

Gensomaden Saiyuki is a hip reinvention of a Chinese classic novel called “Journey to the West” (published around the 1590s).  This anime featured the greatest foursome in fiction (Yup, I consider Sanzo’s Party better than even the legendary foursome, the Fantastic Four).   And they are a big part why this show was awesome.  Each episode is a guaranteed performance of badassery and coolness by the four of them.  They’re always on a roll and unstoppable.  Aside from the charisma of the main characters, the show’s success is also attributable to its animation techniques that greatly enhance the already superb storytelling and music scores (especially “For Real”) that effectively stir the emotions of the viewers.  

  

2.) SAMURAI X (RURUONI KENSHIN)

Samurai X features one of the best anime fight choreographies ever.  It tells of a former infamous samurai, Kenshin Himura, who made a commitment to not kill again after being known as “Battōsai the Slasher” during the war.  He became a peaceful wanderer, and eventually settled down in the Kamiya Dojo (where his adventures during the show’s run start).  To be able to enforce his vow of non-killing, Himura make use of a unique “reverse-edged sword”.  This had become a disadvantage for Kenshin in his fights, but he continues to beat the odds without breaking his vow.  This theme has been constant in all the show’s storylines.

1.) CODE GEASS

Greatest anime ever.  Hands down in a landslide, “Code Geass” gets the top spot.    Deep and interesting characters, exceptional concept and themes, plenty of mind-blowing twists, and a superbly constructed story… in fact, this anime is one of the best pieces of fiction I have ever encountered. 

I don’t want to reveal too much since it’s really really worth seeing for yourself.  But, here’s the story in a nutshell… The story revolves around a high school student named Lelouch, who is secretly the notorious rebel leader “Zero” who desires to take down the Brittanian Empire and free Japan from its clutches.  Zero is granted a geass that can mind control people by a mysterious immortal named CC.  With his geass and CC by his side, Zero also has the Black Knights – freedom fighters – under him to help him in his goals.  Lelouch has his own selfish reasons on fighting the Brittanian Empire.  But in the end, his goals would realign and he would bring out the best of his talents in strategy and manipulation to create the universally coveted world peace.  Watch the show on how that came about.  It’s worth it. 

Honorable Mention (i.e. other animes considered for the top 10): Cowboy Bebop, Hunter X Hunter, Nadia: Secret of Blue Water, Dual, Gundam Wing, Detective Conan, Lupin III, Eyeshield 21, Full Metal Alchemist, Robotech (The Super Dimension Fortress Macross)

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Maintaining Equilibrium

If IQ tests are to be trusted (I have my doubts), I at least have an IQ of 127.  But I am more proud of my EQ, which is 116 (again, if that online EQ test I took is legit).  I am a balanced guy.  LOL.  Anyway, I really think that it is more important for someone to have a strong emotional equilibrium to survive in life than raw intelligence.     

The past days had been an emotional roller coaster ride for me and people around me.  So, I have to remind myself of the principles I live by that helped me maintain my equilibrium.  That’s why I decided to write this.  (And also so that you can pick up some pointers or encouragement). 

Taking deep breathes

I always find taking short deep breathes helpful when dealing with heavy emotional situations.  It does steady your nerves to help you think for the better.

Think logically and practically

There is a danger in becoming more attached to emotion than logic.  Emotion clouds sound judgment.  Thus, in critical evaluation, emotions should be ignored.  Especially in bad situations, since bad situations bring bad emotions.  And in these bad situations that we need our decision-making to be in its most effective.  Therefore, we should be able to train ourselves to discard the emotions that the situation can bring.  Logic and practicality should reign supreme to get us through that bad situation.

If we see the situation through a practical eye, we would easily see that feeling that particular emotion would not help us at all.  Thus, that emotion is illogical.  Example, a friend asked me once, “Are you miserable?”  I replied, “I don't know... But my feelings are irrelevant. Emotions per se can't change reality. Thus, to feel miserable is illogical.”

Indeed, what you feel won’t change the situation you’re in.  When you hit rock bottom, how can the feeling of self-pity or depression help you get up?  You might say that what I’m talking about is difficult or impossible because emotions are outcomes of situations.  Indeed they are, but I refuse to let them stay like that.  Again, emotions can’t change the reality you’re in.  What emotions can do, though, is to fuel you to a goal… or hold you back from a goal.   Therefore, if a particular emotion will hinder you instead of driving you to a goal, then it is definitely necessary to remove it.   Again, if you hit rock bottom, how will self-pity and depression help you get up?  Isn’t optimism a better assisting emotion to help your climb back to the top than self-pity?  “Since you’re now in the bottom, then the only way left is up.”  Thus, FORCING yourself to be happy and optimistic will help you recover than sulking in depression.  Laugh to pull yourself together.      

It’s hard to do, I admit.  But, really, the logic of this argument works, right?  Thus we should practice putting logic above emotion even in small things, so that it would be easier to do this method in bigger and more stressful scenarios.  

“Divide your life”… Retreat to other activities and interests…

There is a problem with revolving our whole life around something.  People tend to make school, or a relationship, or a career as the center of their lives, that when this fails or crashes, their lives crash with it.  Because they made THAT as their whole life.

There is a merit if, at the start, you had “divided” your life – or you had realized that your life is actually “divided” – into different aspects.  Then if you fail in one aspect of your life, you would take comfort that you are doing well in the other aspects.  Or if one aspect disappoints you, you can retreat to pour your energy to the other aspects to get rid of the frustration.  By this, at least, you release your frustration by doing something worthwhile or productive in your life.

That’s why it is necessary for someone to have a wide area of interests and plenty of activities to keep him or her active.  Activity is good therapy.   

“Don’t take life too seriously, we’ll all end up dead anyway…”

I encountered that quote from a college professor (one of the best teachers I ever encountered in my schooling life).  Indeed, it doesn’t matter how we lived this life, or what we obtained in this life, we will all end up as bacteria food in the end.   Bottomline: life is short and everything is just temporary.  Therefore, we should get the best out of our lives.  To live life to the fullest.  To be worthwhile and productive.   To seize the moment.  Thus, it’s a waste of life when you feel bad about living. 

See things as they are… be at peace with the facts that can’t be changed…

Again, think logically.  See things as they are.  As the definition (by Wikipedia) of reality goes: “[it] is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or may be thought to be.”   And reality is something you can’t directly change.  There’s no use being bothered with things that you can’t have some sort of control or influence over. 

And also, don’t raise your hopes on what can become.  Rather, just objectively see the situation as it is in the present.  Sounds like the cynical mentality of Thomas Covenant (don’t know him? read the books by Stephen Donaldson) to you?  Well, it does have some sense in it.  The lesser the expectations, the lesser the disappointments.   

Just be at peace with reality.  Be at peace with facts that you can’t change.

And the first (and most important) fact you should be at peace with is…

The Universe does not revolve around you.

In life, you will not get all of what you want.  Things will not always go your way.  Creation is not here to please you.  Murphy’s Law (if something can go wrong, it will) will always apply.  And, yes, life is indeed not fair.       

The sooner you become at peace with this fact, the sooner you’ll feel better and be less prone to disappointment.   As soon as you accept the fact that the universe does not revolve around you, then you will be ready to accept that…

The Universe revolves around God!

Everything is created through Him and for Him.  That everything that happens within Creation is by His sovereign will and for his glory.  And since the Universe revolves around God, then we should definitely put Him in the center of our lives.  It is only right to do so. 

Consider:

a.) God’s wisdom is perfect.

b.) Whatever God wills is always for good, even if it doesn’t look good through our own eyes (which are limited by time and un-omniscience.  God, however, transcends time and is all-knowing).

c.) Nothing happens by accident because God is always in control and nothing frustrates God’s plan.

d.) Everything He does for His children is for their ultimate good.
If we do believe in all these facts, we can see that God will not disappoint or frustrate those who put their trust, hope, joy, and love in Him (Those, however, who put their full trust, hope, joy, and love on things of this World will surely be disappointed and frustrated, since the World and everything in it are temporary and imperfect).   Then, if so, isn’t this enough to strengthen us emotionally and mentally?    Isn’t this enough to go “Hakuna Matata” with our lives?                

To be able to have a good equilibrium, there must be a strong foundation that would help us avoid getting emotionally off-balanced.  And that foundation is in God and in God alone. 

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